My Heart Runneth Over

Here I Raise My Ebenezer...

2011-05-02T18:11:00.001-07:00

For those that know me, I believe that you would agree that I am typically not at a loss for words. More times than not, I offer an opinion with or without a request (and you can normally hear it from the next room). I analyze things to death. Then analyze why I would analyze something so much. I can cover the full range of emotions in a 24 hour period, and it happens more times than not. For those of you that don't know me, I can only confess that this is me in a nutshell.

But this week has been different. Well, sort of different.

In 7 days, I did cover a full range of emotions. However, even now, I'm not sure I can clearly voice them. I'm still sorting through the joy and the sorrow of it all. This week will surely be one of those weeks that I look back on as my Ebenezer...A memorial established in remembrance of what God has done for a person or group of people. Let's recap:

April 24: I spent Easter Sunday with my dear friends at Epic Church in San Francisco. Singing praises at the top of our lungs, building community with the city, and loving the hearts and lives of those around us in a very special way as we celebrated the resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. The one and only Conquerer of the grave, and Redeemer of our hearts.

April 25: On the flight home from San Francisco, my friend Mary Beth and I were called alongside a man who needed medical assistance. At 30,000 feet. Through our frantic recall of Nursing 101 and heartfelt prayer, the man was ok, and left in the hands of paramedics once we landed.

April 26: I returned to work, still exhausted, but so filled with joy and contentment from the happenings in San Francisco. God was beginning to prepare in me plans to go out into the world/country in some different capacity in the next couple of years. Still praying through that...

April 27: Several EF-4 Tornadoes ripped through my state. Leaving only devastation in their wakes. My college town of Tuscaloosa, hardest hit. Greatly suffering. Some lost all they had, some lost all they owned. Some lost faith in a good God. And some gained faith that they didn't even know they were capable of having.

April 28: With no power and the heaviest heart I can remember, I returned to work that morning. And the rest is a blur.

April 29: My friends from the GAP class at SMBC and I gathered supplies for our friends in Tuscaloosa and prepared our hearts and our hands to set out to help them. As the church, we knew that only the love of Christ can bring the peace that our dear neighbors so desperately needed. We were able to gather clothes, toiletries, food, and water to meet basic needs of those affected by the storms.

April 30: My brothers and sisters left Shades at 9:00am and arrived at Tuscaloosa Temporary Emergency Services with our supplies. Then met up with a group of friends from Calvary in Tuscaloosa to help clear trees off of some property. Property that, much to my surprise, belonged to my Freshman Sunday School teacher. I was overwhelmed as I looked at the remains of their house and grateful that I could hug her. Then through a work order from Samaritan's Purse, we also helped clear the backyard of a woman whose roof had been completely blown off of her house. In awe, and with a greater sense of mercy, grace, and brotherly love, we returned home. And gathered together for dinner after. Grateful. And bonded for life.

May 1: Church had a whole new meaning. And gratitude to be able to worship together rang clearer in my heart that morning. And rest that afternoon was tough but essential. After meeting with my senior girls that night, I settled into a seat at Workplay with my best friend. Desperately longing for music to help heal what had been broken that week. And through Drew and Ellie Holcomb, I breathed a little easier because of their music. Of their spirits. Their love for each other and for the Lord was refreshing. And cleaned away the sorrow for a bit.

And the week ended just as it began. In some common ways. In some very different ways.

Like I said, I am still unable to truly wrap my brain and my heart around the happenings of that final week in April, 2011. But I do know a few things:

*That God is good, and just, and a refuge for those who call on His name.

*That community is essential. True, authentic community with other people is God's plan for the church. And that the church is alive and well.

*We still have a long road ahead.

*Joy is different from happiness. And man, is it sweet.

*It's ok to not have all the answers, and to not know how you feel. As long as absolute Truth finds its way into your conversations and the character of Christ is woven in and out of who you are and what your hands find to do.

So, here I raise my Ebenezer. Remembering for years to come that My God is greater and able. He is good and Sovereign. And though, today, I am grateful for many things, and brokenhearted over just as many, I know that all is in His hands. And always has been.

John 16:33: "...I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

"Here I raise mine Ebenezer
Hither by Thy help I come
And I hope by Thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wondering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood."

Forgotten? Or Never Learned?

2011-03-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

I was talking to two sweet friends before Sunday School this morning. Sipping coffee. Talking about plans for our Sundays. Laundry, couch-time, naps: all made it into the mix. And then a very interesting concept was unearthed. We began to discuss how guilty we sometimes feel about just being still or not accomplishing anything from time to time simply because we are resting. And why is that? I think that our generation has been programmed to feel lazy if we aren't constantly checking something off of a list, or pushing hard toward the next big thing, or striving to be up-to-date on every major world news event. From a very young age, I can remember my mom encouraging me to be independent. And so goes the story with most of my friends. All of my closest friends are gainfully employed, living in their own homes/apartments, dreaming big and making plans. We have all been taught to be those people. And I am truly grateful. I think our parents weren't offered as many opportunities as we have been given, so they have played key roles in encouraging our success in life. Birthing a generation of busy bees and big dreamers.

So, welcome to our dream lives. And our dilemma. With the big plans come the worries, and the deadlines, and the booked planners. Our days are filled with appointments and errands. Guided by our plans and our paychecks. And somewhere along the way, we have forgotten how to rest. Or perhaps a greater tragedy: we have never learned.

I believe that God has blessed most of us with incredibly abundant lives. We have all we need and most of what we want. But how many days do you sit for longer than 30 minutes, dedicating your time to praising the One who makes it so? How often are you silent for more than an hour? How long do you even allow silence in general? If you're anything like me, you are failing in the area of rest.

Resting in God requires much more than being still, but it starts there. In the stillness, you become aware of your need to be filled with the Holy Spirit... of your inadequacy and gratitude for grace... of your love for Him through Christ. It is there that you hear from God. It is there that you obtain a posture of reverence. It is there that you honor God for your life of abundance. And whatever comes after the silence...whatever comes after the stillness...whatever comes after the rest becomes endurable because you have simply been with the King.

I'm still learning to rest. Join me?

Genesis 2:1-3: "So the creation of the heavens and the earth and everything in them was completed. On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation."

Matthew 11:28-30: "Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Abide.

2011-03-07T19:36:00.001-08:00

{Oh, the blog-silence. (I seem to apologize a lot for that...)}

The past few weeks have been full of sweet moments. So many, in fact, that if I try to remember them all, I will inevitably miss the sweetest ones. So, take my word for it: February was good stuff. God has been teaching me so much. About rest, and life, and people, and the plans He has for me. All of which I have been fervently seeking to be faithful in. That's all I want. All I want from this life is for Him to be proud of me as His daughter...glorified as I live and love and serve. Among the things He's teaching me, He has brought me back to one word over and over and over: ABIDE.

The word 'abide' has been defined as the following...

...To wait patiently for.

...To withstand.

...To remain in a place.

...To continue to be sure or firm; endure.

...To dwell or sojourn.

You find this word a great deal in Scripture, more specifically in the New Testament and in Christ's teachings...

In John 15:9 Christ says, "For as the Father has loved Me, so I have loved you. So abide in my love." Earlier in that very same chapter, in verse 4, He says, "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me." In 1 John 4:16, John states, "And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear..."

Over and over I see this call to dwell in God's love...this affirming truth that if He is who He says He is, and we know Him as we say we know Him, that this abiding is part of each of our lives as believers. In order to offer sweet and tangible proof of our faith...in order to bear fruit and live lives worthy of the good news...in order to live as God created us to live: one with Him.

Are you abiding in Him, dear friend? He so deeply wants you to do so. To wait patiently for His plans and His return. To withstand all that is against you as He stands with you. To remain in a restful, content place of peace with Him. To stand firm in His power. To endure with perseverance the race that you are running. And to dwell in His love.

Let His love seep into your heart. Let His power be yours. Abide in His love.

Life. Captured.

2011-02-01T18:50:00.001-08:00

As a Core Group, we adopted Jeremiah 17:7 as our verse this year. It says: "But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence." We are learning to make this true for our lives. I, along with them. They, alongside me. For that's how its been for years. And I can't wait to see who they grow to become in and through Christ, our Savior. Here are some sweet moments from this weekend, captured on film. Snapshots of lives longing to make the Lord their hope and their confidence.

Psalm 34:8-14: "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Fear the LORD, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it."

Ask and You Shall Receive.

2011-01-27T20:04:00.000-08:00

I do not consider today's events to be circumstance. Nor do I believe that the thoughts of my heart expressed in yesterday's post were brought to mind by happenstance. For today, I have heard the voice of the Lord. Loud and clear.

I was winding down on my couch tonight after a really crazy work day, when my mind raced to the thought: "I just really hope that everything goes well at work tomorrow. I really want tomorrow to be a good day." And instantly, worry set in. Did I do everything I needed to do today to take good care of my patients? Did my coworkers believe that I made the right decisions today? Will I ever make a really big mistake at work? All of those questions that invade your faith. Attack your peaceful thoughts. Yeah, those are the ones that I allowed to creep in tonight. But almost as quickly as they came, Scripture came to mind. That truth that I have hidden in my heart: Therefore do not be anxious...do not worry about tomorrow...pray about everything...when my anxious thoughts are many, Your consolation brings me joy.

I was reminded in those moments that worry should not be my concern. I should even rejoice in my struggles. I cannot remember a time when I have experienced so much spiritual warfare. From the moment that I started this incredible job, my heart has been torn and stretched and challenged and broken and encouraged more than any other time I can quickly call to mind. I have prayed more fervently, and trusted His sovereignty with greater abandon (because let's be honest, in the OB world, things can change in a heartbeat). And I consider it great joy. Because I know that if God was not being glorified in that clinic, that I would have no trouble at all. I know that if something bigger than me was not being carried out, that I would breeze through each day without a care. But since I do deeply care for these women and my coworkers, I struggle. And that's ok. Because He is bigger. And more able than I to take care of my patients and those around me. So here's to resolving to trust rather than worry. And to throw harder punches at an Enemy that wishes to see me give up on a profession that is showing people who Christ is. Bring it on.

Psalm 94:19-- "When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

Philippians 4:6-7-- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The Voice of the Lord.

2011-01-26T20:39:00.001-08:00

Often in my conversations, and in my own heart, this question comes: "But how do I know that this voice that I hear is the Lord's?" It comes after a friend shares her dream and a potential opportunity to realize it. It comes when two choices lie on the table and you feel pulled toward one. It comes when you feel an uneasiness about a particular situation or relationship. As a believer...or maybe just in my own life...I hear/speak these words often.

Scripture speaks to this.

Christ says in John 10 that: "...The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice..."

The psalmist writes in Psalm 29 that: "...The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars..."

In 1 Kings 19, we read that: "...The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave."

Now, I know what you're thinking: All of these passages say something different about recognizing the voice of the Lord. And if that's what you're thinking, then you'd be right. The truth is, I can't tell you how to determine the Lord's voice in your life. Because it's your life. Your relationship. And your familiarity with God determines your ability to hear Him...to recognize and follow His voice. In one moment, His voice might be obvious and clear. In another, it may be still...quiet. Sometimes, it may be easy to hear... Other times, it may take deep faith to believe that He is speaking in a certain way. But however He chooses to speak to you, know this: He is sovereign. And no matter what His voice sounds like...or how His hand moves in a life, you can be sure that it is perfectly done. I am grateful for that.

Jeremiah 29:11-13: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart..."

John 10:7-10: "...Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Silence = Underrated.

2011-01-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

I apologize for my blog-silence since Christmas Eve! I assure you that the reason for it is not because I have lacked things to write about. Quite the opposite! So many wonderful things have happened since December. And its hard to recap all of it, so I will hit the high points...

* My best friend became engaged to the love of her life (they will be married August 20, 2011)
* I rang in the new year with sweet friends and shared my first meal of 2011 with the dearest of these (Supper Club will celebrate 3 years this summer)
* I learned to play Nerts (And have stayed up way past midnight multiple nights playing it-- for those of you that know me, you know that this behavior is not commonplace. Thus, 2011 has me turning over a new leaf...maybe.)

*My sweet friend, Amanda, got to say goodbye to the NICU and take her little man, Laine home for the first time.
* I have been preparing for two very important speaking engagements: Progress 2011 (A UAB OB/GYN conference that will take place at the end of February), and Kidz Blitz (took place this weekend)

*We kicked off our very last Core Group Semester! (I've had the sweet opportunity to watch these girls grow since they were in the 9th grade, and this year they will graduate High School to begin their college lives.)
* I had the incredible opportunity to travel across the country to San Francisco to reunite with some dear friends there. In their faithfulness, these friends moved their lives there in response to God's call to plant a church in the heart of the city. Epic Church had their fourth preview service while I was there and will begin weekly services starting February 13 ( find out more by visiting www.epicsf.com) I was both blessed and equally burdened by my time there. Blessed by their hearts, our God and His plans, and by the city itself. Burdened by the tremendous need for the gospel in San Fran, and by the spiritual darkness present in the hearts of its people. But the beauty most definitely outweighed the pain. Knowing that God is up to something big there and that my friends are running the race with such grace...that is a beautiful thing. Continue to pray for all that call Epic home. For all that will call Epic home. And for all that are touched by the God of that city and all others under the sun.

Speaking of silence. I spent the last hour of my drive home today in complete silence. And let me tell you, it was simply beautiful. While God has given me so many opportunities to speak, and to listen, I was reminded that some of my sweetest times with Him are spent in silence. So again, I apologize for the lag in blog updates, but remember that silence is golden from time to time.

Below are some pics from my January adventures...

My sweet hostess, Lindsey Lee, took me to work with her :)

I thoroughly enjoyed Bring-Your-Friend-To-Work Day at the Epic Office in San Fran!

Shauna and the boys introduced me to the yummiest breakfast restaurant!

Oh yeah, she's making muffins from a handwritten recipe book :)

Epic Preview Service!

View from the top of the W Hotel where Epic Church meets...

Golden Gate Bridge...

Saturday morning, Kristin, Shauna and I headed to the Farmer's Market for some shopping fun!

Some San Franciscans enjoying their spoils...

Blue Bottle Coffee: Josh Hamilton's favorite.

Bay Bridge!

These are truly a San Francisco treat :)

A fun store in Noe Valley...

The Painted Ladies!

This is how we descend big hills in San Fran. Like a roller coaster :)

Lombard Street...

Classic.

While I was gone, baby Laine went home with his mommy and daddy Cutcher!

...That We May Know Him.

2010-12-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

Today marks the eve of the most beautiful moment in human history. Tomorrow, over 2000 years ago, Christ was born. Not just born to begin His life, but born to us. On Christmas, Christ was introduced to the human race for the first time. Even though He had always been alive with God, He now becomes alive to us. And alive He always will be. God ordained, in His infinite Sovereignty, the perfect time, the perfect place, and with the perfect people for Christ to come to earth to be our Savior. And I do not have time this morning to cover all of the wonderful, beautiful intricacies of that plan (perhaps someday I will), but perfect it was...is. Prophecies were fulfilled in His coming, hearts were mended, and lives saved from the chains that bound them. Simply and profoundly because a baby was born in a manger all those years ago. A baby. Christ. God who put on flesh and dwelt among us. So that we may know Him. The One and Only True and Living God. For that, I am overwhelmingly grateful today.

Isaiah 9:6-7 "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this."

Luke 2:1-20 "In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told."

You Must Learn To Know Me By That Name...

2010-12-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

Fact: It is impossible for me to make it through a Narnia viewing without completely falling apart. And I don't mean one glistening tear streaming down my face. No ma'am, I'm talking red, puffy face, covered with snot and an inability to keep from doing the whole multiple-quick-inhalations-as-you-try-to-breathe-normally breaths. A total mess.

But I think it's because those stories speak to the deepest desires of my heart. As Lucy shamelessly throws herself onto the big, beautiful mane of Aslan in total despair as she processes the thought of never seeing Him again, I share her sentiment. As Edmund slays the sea serpent with a magical sword powered by Aslan's might, something in my soul leaps. And as Prince Capsian bravely returns to Narnia knowing that he has been chosen to lead a kingdom and to love those people, my heart swells. Because it speaks to the very nature of who we are. C.S. Lewis beautifully portrays in these fairy tales the very essence of the human heart...and the beauty of our King.

Tonight, my heart is overwhelmed that such a great God would be so intimate. That He would speak to our hearts as He does. And know us as His children. Always good. Always faithful. And something within me is so desperate tonight to physically feel Him. To lay my head on His chest...to feel Him really wipe away a tear...to get lost in an embrace...to hold His strong hand. Oh, I ache for it. But what a sweet ache. My faith only grows tonight...I believe with all of my heart and soul that one day, this race will be run and I will get my wish. One day, this fight will be over, and I will drop my sword. For there will be no need for it anymore. And I will run swiftly into the arms of my King. That's a moment I live for. And it is a moment that I would gladly die for... I serve a mighty King. A sweet Master. And I cannot wait until the day that I see Him face to face. Thank you C.S. Lewis, for making that longing a little more vivid tonight.

"Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” John 10:7-18

Mr. Tumnus: [of Aslan] He's not a tame lion.
Lucy Pevensie: No... but He is good.

Leaving Room...

2010-12-08T15:15:00.000-08:00

I mentioned a few weeks/months ago that plans were in the works for me to go to Haiti for a community health mission in January. I was so excited about the opportunity and had really begun to prepare my heart for the trip. Last week, I got word that the MD that would be accompanying us was unfortunately no longer able to go...and that without an MD the trip would have to be canceled. And so it was. I was heartbroken at first. And a little confused about why this trip had been part of my life only to be dissolved. I can only believe that God has a sovereign reason why I wasn't supposed to be there.

After a few days of letting the news soak in, I realized that I still had that week off of work. My brain and heart started to dream...And then a new plan arose. At the end of this week, I will purchase my tickets to head to the west coast to visit my sweet friends of Epic Church in San Francisco. I could not be more excited, and am anxious to see what the Lord has planned for my time with them.

Learning to leave room in my plans for God to move...

Grateful that I have a King that makes perfect plans.

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)

God. Is. With. Us.

2010-12-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

Last week felt more like 365 days than its actual 7. Not because it went by so slowly, oh no. But because of all the things that filled those days. Work schedules, and parties, and driving, and injuries, and practice, and singing, and more practice and more singing. I get tired just typing the general things that took place. But the week came to a beautiful, big, bright, shining conclusion last night. It was Christmas By Candlelight week for Shades. And with those words come many thoughts, but the most victorious one is that God is truly glorified in the hours of those performances. The beauty of the Christmas story is told in all its wonder...Christ is worshipped with all our hearts...and God is high and lifted up. What an honor it was to be there, in it all. Sharing with my brothers and sisters the joy of what Christmas is truly about.

One of the most piercing truths of last night's services lies in four words: God is with us. Emmanuel in a manger. The Word wrapped in human flesh. A baby born to die. A Savior stepped out of heaven and onto earth so that we might be saved and know God as we were created to know Him. Love Him as He shows us how. And the greatness of that idea is not that it was true all those years ago...it's that it is true still today.

Amidst clinic workloads: God is with us. In silence as you fall asleep: God is with us. As tears stream down your face: God is with us. As those tears are wiped away and replaced with joy: God is with us. When patience seems foreign: God is with us. When your heart could explode with love for another: God is with us. In the moments you don't understand: God is with us. In the moments that couldn't be more perfect: God is with us. Whether in want or in plenty, in love or in pain, in sorrow or in joy, in total satisfaction or complete disarray: God is with us.

Find comfort in that promise, sweet friend.

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18, 20

Christ is Everything.

2010-12-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

In a world where everything is relative, I believe that one thing is not: Christ is everything.

The living Word of God tells us this of Christ:
...that He was there in the beginning, with God, and God. Then put on flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:1-2, 14). And dwells within those who call Him Lord. (Ephesians 3:16-19)
...that He is the image of the invisible God...(Colossians 1:15)
...that in Him all things are made, for Him all things are made, and in Him all things are sustained (Colossians 1:16-17)
...that He came to save the souls of men. (John 3:16-17)
...that He is the propitiation for our sins. Making us clean when we were once filthy rags. (1 John 2:2)
...that He made us new creatures. (1 Corinthians 5:17)
...that His love conquers all things. (Romans 8:38-39)
...that He fulfilled the law and set us free. (Isaiah 9:6-7; Romans 8:1-3)
...that He is seated at the right hand of God. (Colossians 3:1)
...that He is preparing a place for His children and coming back for the faithful. (John 14:1-3)

I could go on and on about the truth of Christ in the scriptures. But those passages alone are enough to convince me that everything that I know, am, or hope to be is about Him. Christ is everything. My heart knows that full well. And tonight, I am dwelling in the beauty of that truth.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Rookie Mistake...

2010-11-28T19:33:00.000-08:00

Soooo....Amber and I have never done the Black Friday shopping thing before. And this year was no different because we were in Tuscaloosa watching Bama hand Auburn a ballgame (a whole different story). BUT when we returned home that evening, we thought we would just head out to Target to see what, if anything, was left over from the morning madness. Boy, did we find stuff! And by stuff, I mean "covert information". So apparently, Target has a 2 DAY sale on Black Friday AND on Black Saturday (didn't know this existed, but I went with it). Leslie (our cashier at Target that Friday night) told us (under her breath I might add) that the same sale that took place on Friday would happen again in the morning, complete with a new shipment of merchandise. No way!, we exclaimed out of sheer excitement. (You see, my little sister had her heart set on a big screen LCD HDTV). New question: Well, what time do you open in the morning? Answer: 4:00am just like today! Leslie answered. Ugh. Well at least, we would get a good deal and we had nothing planned for Saturday except decorating for Christmas with mom. So, we resolved to camp out in the parking lot at 3:00am to beat the crowd and get Ambie's TV. Because what little sister wants, little sister gets.

2:30 came really early that next morning (and by next morning, I mean 4 hours later), but we were ready and out the door, coffee in hand, by 2:45. Ready for a TV, ready for adventure, not exactly ready to be disappointed...I'll let this video take it from here.

So, yeah. Target actually opened at 8:00am that morning. And after a 3 hour nap in the car, we were disappointed AGAIN once the rumors about a "new shipment" were dissolved by a really grumpy Electronics manager who told us that "all our tv's sold out yesterday, duh" (well, she didn't say duh, but her face did.) So here's my letter to Leslie:

Dear Leslie,

You helped us none today. Actually you made me get out of my warm, comfy bed and run to the car, and drive to Target only to realize that your information was incorrect. Not once, but twice. I'm tired. I'm cold. and I'm empty-handed. Oh, but not to worry, Walmart was happy to help us find a good deal on a TV at 9:00am when we headed over there after being shooed like a fly at a cookout at your store. Thank you again for nothing.

Your Disgruntled Customer,

Kaylie

P.S. Couldn't help but notice that you weren't there at 4am. Interesting...

Never Too Early...

2010-11-21T12:48:00.001-08:00

I have recently had to defend my love for all-things-Christmas celebrated in November. "But its not even Thanksgiving yet! You can't be listening to Christmas music..." "Can't we enjoy Thanksgiving before we start buying Christmas gifts..." "Shouldn't you find a nice Turkey platter before you spend time looking for the perfect nativity scene?"

To that I say: Poppy cock! (I apologize if in some countries this is a curse. It only seemed fitting.)

I love Christmas music, and lights, and trees, and the smells, and the togetherness of Christmas. And I don't mind arguing with you about the desire to celebrate that in November (or October even :)

But this post was not meant to be a semi-serious rant...All jest aside, as I sit sipping my Chai in Starbucks, I am currently familiarizing myself with some songs that I will have the chance to sing alongside the Gaithers soon :) And in my study of the notes, the lyrics ended up ringing louder than the melody. And I realized that no matter when you decide to celebrate Christmas, it's never too early to do so. Because in the celebrating of Christmas, you are making much of Christ. The Christmas story is as relevant in March as it is in December...the manger is as beautiful when sung about in cold weather as it is in your car on a summer day. The message is the same: While we were lost, with no hope, God made a way. God sent His only Son to become an atonement for our sin. And Christ left heaven...put on flesh and dwelt among us so that He could live and die and live again for God to be glorified through a relationship between man and Himself. You see, the story of Mary, and Joseph, and the shepherds, and Jesus is so much bigger than the manger. It's a story of redemption. Of reconciliation. It's a tale of Sovereignty and grace. It's love in its purest form. This story is a story of the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. This story is about the day Christ came. Its about the day that He entered our world forever. And it's the only story worth telling. And it's never too early to start...

If you don't know the story, I'd love to tell you.

Merry Christmas and Happy Thanksgiving :)

You Came Like a Winter Snow...

2010-11-10T20:15:00.001-08:00

I have fallen madly in love with this song. And I thought it was time I shared it...Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi25lohx7Kw

"Winter Snow"

Could've come like a mighty storm

With all the strength of a hurricane

You could've come like a forest fire

With the power of heaven in Your flame

But You came like a winter snow

Quiet and soft and slow

Falling from the sky in the night

To the earth below

You could've swept in like a tidal wave

Or an ocean to ravish our hearts

You could have come through like a roaring flood

To wipe away the things we've scarred

But You came like a winter snow

You were quiet

You were soft and slow

Falling from the sky in the night

To the earth below

Oh, no, Your voice wasn't in a bush burning

No, Your voice wasn't in a rushing wind

It was still

It was small

It was hidden

You came like a winter snow

Quiet and soft and slow

Falling from the sky in the night

To the earth below

Falling

To the earth below

You came falling

From the sky in the night

To the earth below

Being Still...

2010-11-05T06:15:00.001-07:00

I am a woman of few words today. Shocking, I know. But my spirit is in desperate need of stillness. So I'm obliging. Taking breaths in slowly and meditating on Scripture intently. Join me?

Exodus 14: 13-14 "Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Psalm 46: 9-11 "He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

1 Kings 19: 9-13: "And the word of the LORD came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave."

Psalm 131: "My heart is not proud, LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore."

Philippians 4: 6-8: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Oh How I Love Thee...

2010-11-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

I love the rain. And I always have. Maybe because it reminds me of so many beautiful things. Even when it's making me late because people don't know how to drive in it...even when my hair isn't quite hitting its A-game because of it...even when being half-wet and half-dry after running through it might be one of my top 5 worst feelings. It still has such beautiful implications.

It's a reminder of new beginnings. That the grime of life can be washed away. The dirtiest roads, the filthiest cars, are clean when the rain subsides. And I'm reminded of all the times that I had to walk through a storm only to come out on the other side with a clean heart. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

It's a reminder of growth. Of providence. Without the rain, some of our brothers' and sisters' lives are halted because their land is dry and thirsty. Much like our souls become after a long drought of selfishness and lack of eternal things. The rain brings much-needed fuel for growth. And is an answered prayer for many.

It soothes my spirit. Because I feel like when its rainy and cold, we're probably all thinking the same thing. That we'd love to crawl under a blanket and watch a movie by a fireplace. And as weird as that sounds, that brings me comfort. That the lull of the raindrops hitting the roof, and the hazy sky awakens our hearts to the desire to be in a still place.

And every time a drop falls from the sky, I am reminded of one of my favorite passages of Scripture. You'll find it in Hosea. Stubborn Israel resolves to turn their hearts back to the God who loves them. And He is faithful. Hosea 6:1-3:

"Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us;

he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us;

on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence.

Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him.

As surely as the sun rises, he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.”

So, the next time the rains fall, be grateful. Let it remind you that God Almighty is the giver of all good things. Who longs to make you clean, and to see you grow...and He is always faithful.

You are loved.

Abundance Attacked.

2010-10-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

I've quoted the verse John 10:10 more times than I can count in my life. And other people have often repeated it back to me when discussing the life that Christ died to give us. We know the verse, but typically only find it necessary to mention the latter part in most situations. "Oh, but you see, Christ came that we might live an abundant life." "Christ didn't design us to lead a boring life, no, He called us to an abundant life." And while that is the truth, we miss a very important point when only remembering the latter of John 10:10.

(Disclaimer: I'm re-reading Waking The Dead by John Eldredge. He is one of my favorite authors not because I feel like he is the most profound theologian I've ever read, but he draws things out of me that I didn't know were there. And I give glory to God (so does he) for doing so. He weaves scripture in and out of his pages so that one doesn't easily lose sight of the fact that God is the orchestrator of any real change that occurs in a man/woman while reading his books. Anyway, I'm re-reading it, because I feel like I'm in desperate need of a refuel. The passion in me has been stifled by schedules, to-do lists, and plans as of late. And I want my spirit of intensity back. This book stirs that in me. Through his words, and through the living Word, I'm getting that back. )

Anyway, in his first chapter, John mentions this text. And I was challenged by his charge. He says it better than I can, so here:

"Before he promised us life, Jesus warned that a thief would try to steal, kill, and destroy it. How come we don't think that the thief then actually steals, kills, and destroys? You won't understand your life, you won't see clearly what has happened to you or how to live forward from here, unless you see it as a battle. A war against your heart."

Of course no one likes to view their lives as a war-zone. Everyone loves to talk about the grace of God and the sweetness of His mercy (both of which I am, by no means, discrediting. However...) But no one likes to talk about the battle for them. And the awful thing is: that most days, we aren't battling for them at all. We are living our lives thinking that we somehow deserve them. Or that once we have embraced grace, and forgiveness, and mercy, and servanthood, and love, and patience, that we will always possess them in their purest forms. Well...how are you feeling about that today? You got it down, yet? The answer is probably no. Why? Because before Jesus promised us an abundant life, He warned us that an Enemy was seeking to destroy it. In any way he could/can. Stealing our joy by giving rise to other emotions. Killing our dreams, and our brothers and sisters. Destroying our relationships that should be bearing fruit. Christ's longing is to give you an abundant life. Satan's desire is to see you fail at ever even getting close to a fruitful life. The war in our hearts and in our lives is a very real one. And the quicker you realize that, the better. The sooner you realize that you will have to prepare your heart for battle and your life for war, the sooner you will actually have a shot at that abundant life. Because let me tell you something, sister...brother...you ARE going to have to fight for it. Are you ready?

Praise be to God that we are fighting with God Almighty and His Son, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We will not be beaten. But we will have to raise our swords.

Much love my Warrior Friends,

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." --John 10:10

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." --Ephesians 6:13-18

One Time at a Time.

2010-10-18T18:07:00.000-07:00

It's a lesson that I have learned 1000 times: Live in the moment. But today its a lesson that is hitting close to home. Probably because on any given day, I feel the full range of emotions from sunrise to sunset. And the last 24 hours has been no different. No major depression or transcendent euphoria. Just life.

In a heap or on top of it, that's life. Chasing or being chased. Taking that mountain or tumbling down it. That's life. And in order to keep from going completely crazy, you have to learn to take it as it comes. As a follower of Christ, I honestly believe that each moment is a gift. An opportunity. And I am constantly learning how to balance living each moment to the last drop while keeping it in perspective. Loving furiously and holding loosely. (Did I mention that I was still learning?) And whether I do it well or fail miserably, God is bigger. And able. And His grace is sufficient. When I'm on top or broken. And I personally, am grateful for that.

Life is crazy. And I, for one, am not even close to figuring out. I'm just taking it one time at a time.

You could plant me like a tree beside a river
You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild
And I would blossom like a flower in the desert
But for now just let me cry

You could raise me like a banner in a battle
Put victory like a fire behind my shining eyes
And I would drift like falling snow over the embers
But for now just let me lie

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die

Set me like a star before the morning
Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I'll illuminate the path You've laid before me
But for now just let me be

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Oh, not before You show me how to die

So let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God, for now just stay with me

--Audrey Assad

Big things...

2010-10-15T04:59:00.000-07:00

Oh man, I'm really bad at updating blogs when things are moving so quickly through life. But today, in the midst of a quiet moment during my lunch break, I am reflecting. And breathing deep the beauty of providence and grace. I am so blessed to be where I am and, I must say that God is teaching me so many things. For instance: that baby heartbeats and smiles require no translation; and that a lunch break spent enveloped in a cool breeze and sunshine is priceless; and also that the people in my life are such sweet, special people. Oh and that God is moving everywhere. In all things. Building new things, and sustaining old ones. Propelling missions to spread his precious gospel. Providing strength for those hands and feet that are taking it to cities and countries that desperately need hope. And today, I am overwhelmed that I serve such a good God with such beautiful people.

It is Fall. And my heart just swells everytime October rolls around. Football, caramel-spice anything, and warm moments make me smile. Maybe the time of year has ignited my nostalgia today, but I think its bigger than that. I think that my God is preparing me for things. Lots of really amazing things. And the anticipation is fueling my moments today. Fanning a flame, if you will. Some of the plans He's making for me are becoming clearer, while others are still vague. In both, I rejoice today.

One of the big things happening in my heart today is this: Last week I had the opportunity to speak at Samford to close to 200 freshmen girls about Women's Health. (Yes, I'm a geek, but this was something that I feel like God has created me to do. Love women and teach them what is good for their bodies, their minds, and their hearts--this is one of the more vague plans that I feel God has for me, b/c I do believe that I will teach one day in a classroom setting of some kind. But not today...Continuing on...) I was asked to speak by one of my former students, Emily. And how wonderful it was to catch up with her and Candace (another one of my former students) that night. They are precious, and fresh, and in love with Christ. Good for the heart. Anyway, they had mentioned wanting to travel to Haiti during Jan term to do some community health missions, and asked if I was interested. Is that even a question? Of course I was! So I started praying...and asking questions. And today, the text came. There are plans in the works to head there in January with a team of medical professionals and students to minister to the people of Haiti :) And I could not be more excited. A people I have not had the chance to love, to teach, to share the gospel with. So I ask for your prayers. That God would be glorified as He provides, prepares, and paves the way. Because He already is, you see. I got a phone call yesterday from a friend at church asking if I would be interested in having a table (displaying paintings) at a Women's Ministry Fundraiser in November. Beth presented her request, saying that I would be able to use the money raised for an upcoming mission trip if I wanted. Really? God is good. (That's at SMBC in Nov. If you want details, shoot me an email kpatrick85@gmail.com)

So here I am...babbling. After much silence in the blog-world. But today, I am wrapped up in gratefulness. Simply in love with God and His plans. Thankful for Christ who died that I might live this life in Him and for Him. Not as a passer-by or as a stagnant body, but as I was created to live it. For that I am grateful. Just wanted to share.

You are loved.

Taking a breath or two...

2010-09-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

I think it’s terminal, this terminal I’m waiting in

Could use a change of scene, it seems I’ve been repeating it
Another day, another plane, another same thing
Yesterday became tomorrow that’s the strange thing
Another string, another strum, another rhyme, another hum
I want to breathe in
I want to breathe in and out again

I’m tired of putting one foot in front of the other
I’m weary of where it leads me to
I’m tired of moving on from my Father
Make me rest my head, take a breath or two

Simply stated simple minded love for You
Has simply been completely complicated
And I’m finding this daily drudgery is finally catching up to me
It’s time for this abandon to make much of You and less of me
I want to breathe in
I want to breathe in and out again

O for a slower pace
Moving at the speed of sound sounds like a race to me
O to be at ease
Moving at the speed of sound gets hard on the knees

--Jimmy Needham

The LORD protects the simplehearted;

when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,

for the LORD has been good to you.

For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling...

Psalm 116:6-8

A Fine Line.

2010-09-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

The older I get, the more I realize that life as a follower of Christ is often times about living life on a fine line. My hope is secure and my heart: saved by grace through Jesus Christ. But living out my faith has caused me many times to call upon the Lord to aid in navigating a fine line.

I currently believe that there is a fine line between...

Busyness and Apathy.

Loving people furiously and letting their thoughts guide yours.

Holding loosely and not paying attention.

Having an opinion and attacking someone else's.

Discipline and legalism.

Being a dreamer and being aimless.

Caring and worrying.

Being vulnerable and not guarding your heart.

Being wise and not trusting God to move.

Being content and being comfortable.

I think that I will always struggle with the fine line. And maybe spend too much time analyzing it. But that's just because I'm mildly type-A. However, I also believe that God knows that about me. And He knows that as long as I struggle, I will lean on Him and His Word for guidance. I know that He is able, and bigger, and more sovereign than my struggle with this life. I also happen to know that through all of my battles, He has been faithful to squeeze beautiful things out of them. Faithful to refine by fire. That truth makes the fine line clearer. Makes life about Him and not about me. Just as it should be.

The Ebb and Flow.

2010-08-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

Today, I am fully aware of the ebb and flow of life's abundance. Of the constant shift from valley to mountain-top...good times to bad...times of restlessness and those of peace. And in my own life, how there has been a delicately even distribution of both. Of course the bad times seem heartbreakingly more frequent and the good times seem too scant. But oh, how God has woven together the moments to make such a lovely story.

I can say that today has been one of those days where I have dreamt of a different place. Not because I am unhappy here, and not because I am not grateful. Just dreaming. I dream that maybe it would be more adventurous, more fulfilling to be in Italy, or Ireland, or Brazil, or maybe even just Boston, or Charlotte. And I find myself longing for something new, often. That somehow, I would feel closer to the Lord in those places. Making a fresh start. I feel like somehow if I was uprooted from where I am, I would have a greater desire or a more beautiful place to find my God. And while I feel that He has called me to places (and will continue to call me to places), I am also fully aware today that God is here, and does not change from place to place. The Almighty that I would serve in an exotic place is the God that I serve here in Alabama. The Provider that I would trust in a foreign place is the very same God that I rely on here in Birmingham. And sometimes, it takes just as much courage to trust that your adventure is where you are than to believe that it is elsewhere. If I don't love Him with a furious longing here, then what about being somewhere different will change that? Jesus Christ has called you and I to an abundant life. And all that we have is right now, dear friend. So even if He moves you tomorrow, take Him up on that promise wherever you find yourself today. And let the ebb and flow, of abundance and need, come and go as it may. For your God will never change. No matter where you are.

John 10:9-10:

"I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.

He will come in and go out, and find pasture.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

My Core.

2010-07-25T18:02:00.001-07:00

As I sat tonight and listened to their stories from camp, my heart was reminded of the gift I've been given in being a part of their lives...

One of the most incredible opportunities I have in my life right now is the chance to disciple 5 beautiful Seniors. I signed up to lead a Core Group when I first moved to Birmingham and these lovely ladies have been stuck with me (and my co-leader, Liz) ever since. I say lovely not because of their physical beauty (which they all possess abundantly) but because of their spirits. All my life, I have been fortunate enough to have people pour into me. Through middle school, through high school, all the way through college, and even now. So I know the weight of the job at hand. I know that these girls are being molded as high school students. And I consider myself truly blessed to have been able to watch them grow into such breathtaking creations. I consider it an honor to pour the Word, my experiences, my advice, my encouragement, my heart and soul into their lives. Because I know that they will do (and are doing) big things for the Kingdom of God. They already have a brokenness for the lost, and an urgency to reach them. They already have a joy, a zeal for life. And they already have a spirit of worship. Can you imagine the things they will do as college students? As wives? As moms? As leaders in their ministries of choice? If they are already such solid girls? I, for one, can't wait to see them continue to grow. For they have grown me as much as I have grown them. They have encouraged me as much I as have encouraged them. And they have loved me as much as I have loved them.

Each Sunday, and each day I'm with them, I am filled with affirmation that God is good, and big, and active, and intimately a part of our lives and hearts. For that, I am eternally grateful.

I have a deep desire to see them prepared for the world ahead of them as they head off to college next year. So, if you will, pray with me for their hearts...for their dreams...for their journey toward who God wants them to be.

Glad to have already been a part of it,

Philemon 4-7:

"I always thank my God when I pray for you, Philemon, because I keep hearing about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all of God’s people. And I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ. Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God’s people."

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

2010-07-08T14:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, clinic flowed pretty smoothly. Today: early morning mass chaos. Near-riots in the streets. We saw 200 patients today and hadto turn many away due to the capacity of the church and the supplies left to treat with. Not to mention, the health of our team has been attacked since day one. At least one medical provider per team has been ill everyday. Leaving us short handed somewhere. Today, Dr. Bearden is back with us but just barely. At the very young age of 65, he is bouncing back pretty well from receiving 3 liters of fluid the day before. And everyone is feeling the fatigue today. Trying to push through a heavy patient load, trying to nurture them as we are continuing to nurture one another can sometimes prove to be difficult. Today is no different. It only makes it easier for us to believe that it was not by our own strength that we treated over 200 patients at Belen on our last clinic day. Hallelujah to the Great Physician. Our Healer.

After clinic resumed, we all walked down to the banks of the river nearby. Again, it was heartbreaking to see raw sewage pouring into the same river that thepeople of Belen swim in, bathe in, and draw water from. My heart fell. Because most of the ailments that we treated them for just hours prior could have been prevented if only they had clean water. Enter my friends from The Answer is Love. They accompanied us on our mission to Peru this year. Headed by a friend, Steve Jurs, these three men took newly developed water filtration systems to homes, churches, and communities. Teaching them about healthy living and most importantly, about the Living Water of Jesus Christ. What a ministry. I’m proud to support it. Email me if you have any questions, or want to get involved.

Tonight we honored our translators with a dinner. Like I mentioned before, our desire to spread the gospel would only be a pipe dream without their spirits. Without their willingness to communicate with our Peruvian brothers and sisters, they wouldn’t hear our hearts. And without their desire to lift the name of Jesus high in their communities, His Words would potentially go unspoken once we boarded our planes back to the states. I am grateful for their partnership. Grateful for their friendship. Thankful to be their sister.

Psalm 23

Finding rest,

Working through the madness early morning...

Happy to have Dr. Winford Bearden back!

Our team on the riverbank...

Loriella and her Callie bracelet at SportsReach :)

Adderli, one of our sweet translators, reading from the Word at the Translator Dinner.

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

2010-07-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

Change of pace today. Today we traveled to a different part of the city for clinic. Urban. Downtown. Stilt houses by the river. Heavy commerce. Extreme poverty. We held clinic in an established church in the community of Belen. And after seeing around 150 patients today, Grace Ann (my fellow triage nurse) and I decided to climb one more set of stairs to the top of the church. Past the classrooms where the Word of God was taught when we were not there. Across the empty terrace. There, our view of the city was breathtaking. Not because we were encountering great beauty, but because it was like no other place I’d seen. Crowded roofs. Dirty streets. And breaking through the chaos was a clean, white cross. I just breathed it in. He was here. Very present. Alive. Again, I am humbled and grateful to have a place in the greatest love story ever told. Ever lived.

It was here that I also discussed the possibility of leading a trip next year with my mission friend, Anne. What an incredible opportunity and what a prayer. But I’ll pray it. And I can’t wait to see where God leads me in this new dream. This new adventure.

This afternoon at SportsReach, at Sol Naciente, we were only greeted by about 30 kids, learning that most of the children had returned to school for the rest of the week. What precious moments we had already spent with them though. They’d heard the good news, and now it is by faith that I believe that God will continue to pursue their hearts even after I’m gone. And I do believe that this is His plan. So we played a little volleyball with the remaining 30 and rested a while. God knew we needed that at this point. As He always does.

Matthew 13:10-17 (MSG)

Love,

The church where we held clinic at Belen.

Clinic at Belen

Meet Cristal. She loves Tootsie Pops.

Our view from the rooftop.

Down by the river...

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

2010-07-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

Today was our last clinic day in Sol Naciente. Among the 175 patients we saw today, was this precious little girl in the below picture. You’ll see her in the “wheelchair” with her little brother. Smiling right through the diagnosis of Spina Bifida. She was diagnosed as an infant and clearly the surgeries have not given her the ability to walk, play or run like the other kids. But oh man, does she love bubbles. I watched her mother pick her up from her wheelchair this afternoon at SportsReach and hold her up as she popped them with her sweet little fingers. Each time, a squeal of delight escaping her lips. It was in that moment that I realized how little I am truly grateful. Just how precious the little things are. And was humbled to tears. Again, it wasn’t about me at all. That moment was about a child. Joyfully embracing life as she had been given it. There I prayed that one day she might fall madly in love with the God that gave it to her.

At sunset, I shared my testimony with almost 200 people at a street-side church service. People whom we pray will be the firm foundation upon which this church at Sol Naciente will stand. As we loaded the bus, we were sent away with a sweet, sincere prayer by the church: “Te amo mas de mi vida.”

Love,
K

Monday, July 5th, 2010

2010-07-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

The reason I first chose to come on this trip last year was to use my gifts in medicine to bless the people of another nation. To serve them. To meet their physical needs while Christ met their spiritual need. And yes, I feel as though I was created to take care of people, but I also feel as though I dream too smallsometimes. The ways God continues to stretch and mold me here and through the preparation of this trip each year have swollen my heartand caused me to love Him even more deeply. In every way. Medicine becomes worship. As it should always be.

And each time I come here…each time I love here…I am reminded that it is not about me. It’s about Him. About pouring all of my heart and soul into other people so that they might see Him. His love. His life and death. His furious pursuit of their hearts. And in the process, I always end up face-to-face with my God when I stare into the eyes of a sick child or 90 year old Peruvian grandmother. I think that’s what its all about. Pouring out for His glory AND being blessed by His presence.

This morning we began our medical journey. Throughout the week, we will go out in three different medical teams to five different communities of people. Alongside the triage nurse and team of MDs will be an eye team, aiding people achieve new sight, along with an evangelism team who may open the eyes of their heart for the very first time with the sweet news of the gospel. Today, my team settled into the community of Sol Naciente, home of Pastor Paul and his beautiful wife Jeanina (church planters for this community of roughly 3000 without one church to call home). We saw around 130 patients in clinic and around 150 children came back tonight for our SportsReach Ministry. There, not only did I have a chance to play with the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen, but I was able to share with them the purpose of my joy. The reason why I loved them within minutes. After a rousing game of red light/green light (their favorite), we sat in a monstrous circle for story time. There, I told them about Jesus. And the sweetest moment came when we prayed. I would pray a line, Rosa would translate to the children, then their little voices prayed in Spanish. Some to receive Christ for the very first time. And my heart was full. More full than it had been in quite some time.

Off to pizza for dinner. That’s right, I said pizza in Peru.

Grateful,
K

Our first sighting of Sol Naciente on Day 1.

A few of our first patients.

Our precious friends at Sol Naciente

Getting to share the gospel with them.

Playing with their burbujas y tiza!

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

2010-07-04T14:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day from Peru!

I was here last 4th of July, too, so it only seems natural now. Part of the beauty of celebrating here with these people is that the Peruvian friends we’ve made love to let us! After a long day (or two rather) of traveling, we finally arrived in Iquitos this afternoon. We dropped off our luggage at the hotel and then rode motokars to Pastor Alvaro’s church fortheir Sunday night service. (Pastor Alvaro is our solid rock in Iquitos, and has been crucial in spreading the gospel; more specifically in planting strong, thriving churches here in the city and along the banks of the Amazon.) Here, we teamed up with our translators for the week. I was thrilled to wrap my arms around Lidia (my translator from last year)! I was equally as excited to meet my new translator, Louie. I am so grateful for their servant’s hearts. We truly could not effectively communicate the love of our Christ with Peru without them. So with these sweet friends, I sat down amongst my brothers and sisters to worship. In Spanish. Sweaty and loving every minute of it. Man, these people have such passion. In everything they do, they bring a certain fervor; and their worship, their love, is no different. I was truly blessed by the family that greeted us here.

So back to the celebrating! Not only did they give us the opportunity to worship with them, they allowed us to celebrate our freedom by playing our National Anthem, plastering an American Flag on the church wall, and giving us red and blue balloons to pop at the conclusion of the Star Spangled Banner! What accommodation. What sweet love. Such a great start to an amazing week.

More to come.

Love,
K

Sunday night at Pastor Alvaro's church :)

Lidia! My sweet translator from last year!

Leaving on a Jet Plane.

2010-07-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

I leave tomorrow morning for Peru. It seems like only yesterday I was boarding the plane to Iquitos the last time. Life has changed dramatically, but the expectations and overwhelming excitement is just as I remember. Please pray for our team as we travel, but especially as we share the good news of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ with people who may or may not have ever heard His name. I pray that that very name will break chains and rescue souls there as we speak and love with all our hearts. I pray that salvation stories begin as we serve, and never cease to grow. I pray that God will make the hearts of the Peruvian people receptive to His call, His message, His unparalleled love. And that He will raise up leaders among them to spread the gospel like wildfire. Pray with me, brothers and sisters. And may the name of Jesus be high and lifted up. Now and always.

Love,

Isaiah 61

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners, ^{a]" style="line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]}

² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

⁵ Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

⁶ And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

⁷ Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

⁸ "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.

⁹ Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

¹⁰ I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

¹¹ For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

Warning: Girly Post.

2010-06-28T14:37:00.000-07:00

Again, I'm banking on the fact that few people read this blog...AND that the people who do actually know my heart pretty well. Because to the casual acquaintance, I will sound like just another silly girl by the last sentence of this post. (Hence the title.)

The short of it: today, my heart simply aches for the man that only God knows I will someday marry. Not for any one good reason, really. I just get anxious sometimes, because I know that being a wife is a witness I haven't had the opportunity to have yet. And today, I long to be her. For him. Now, I am no delusional college kid that believes she must get married right away in order to have any real meaning to her life. I'm no clingy, dependent, gotta-have-a-man-to-feel-complete kind of girl. (Just ask anyone who knows me). And I'm quite certain that I don't even believe in "the one" (I hear gasps but it's true). I just have faith that the Lord knows my heart better than even I do; and that in doing His will, He leads us to the places and people that draw out the characteristics within us that glorify Him the most. I believe that husbands love wives in a way that I haven't felt. And wives love husbands in a way that I haven't been able to pour out yet. BUT I know that when I do have those opportunities that I will love and be loved in a new way. Furiously. Passionately. Simply. And I know that will glorify my Father. I also know that it will open my heart to a new way of loving Christ, and being loved by Him. Silly, I know. But He created marriage to represent His love for us, so I believe that it makes sense to think that until we enter into marriage, we might not understand love as well as those who have. I look forward to that in a real way today.

You see, I long to have someone to come home to. To tell my stories to. To sing to. To listen to. To make plans with. To fall deeper in love with Christ with. To laugh and cry with. To be silly with. To unload my soul's deepest dreams and worries on. To bear burdens with. To dance barefoot in the kitchen with. To let my walls down with. To pour love into.

But greater than this desire is my desire to want what God wants for me. So I will continue to live this incredible life He's blessed me with...Pouring out my energy and heart and soul everyday. Knowing that He will fill me again. He alone will fill me. He alone will satisfy. (Oh, what a tug-of-war this heart feels when it comes to its dreams and His dreams).

I do not know what tomorrow will bring. But I do know the One who does. If it means I spend the rest of my life serving alone, so be it. But if it means that I will someday have someone to call mine, then this blog entry is for him. Beloved, I know not where you are. Who you are. But I'm here waiting. And all the while, living. Please do the same.

Much love,

Lake Day!

2010-06-26T19:14:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, 30ish of us headed to Smith Lake with nothing but our sleeping bags, bathing suits, and adventure in our hearts. We spent the night at a wonderful family's lakehouse (playing catch-phrase and Phase Ten well into the midnight hour, of course) and woke up this morning with big plans to soak up the sun and catch up on life stories. And boy, did we deliver :) We had such a blast tubing, sea-dooing (yes, of course that's a word), boating, eating, playing, and chatting. Families and singles alike. Today was a perfect picture of what loving and playing hard looks like. I am truly blessed to be utterly surrounded by people who love Jesus and a good time. Can't wait to continue to do life with these joyful servants that I call friends.

Happy Saturday everyone. And goodnight! (This grandma needs a shower and her pillow).

Just one question...

2010-06-23T20:43:00.001-07:00

Tonight, I just have one question for you:

Are you living your life from energy drawn from The Spirit or from your own dreams/will?

1 Peter 1:3-7 & 18-21 (The Message)

"What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole.

I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ's sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It's because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God."

One day left...

2010-06-22T20:12:00.001-07:00

I only have one day left in Labor and Delivery.

Merely typing that statement fills my heart with 1,000 emotions. The short of it: I'm excited to move into the new role God has prepared me for, but truly grateful for who I have become within the walls of UAB Labor and Delivery. Caring for my patients alongside the people that I love there has been such a blessing. Most days (if my apt would allow me to miss some rent payments), I would do this job for free. And that's not fluff. I really would. I feel as though few people can say that about the job that they get up to do every morning. But I feel overwhelmingly thankful for the truth in that. And I feel even more grateful that God is/will continue to put me in places where He will be glorified. My time here is drawing to an end, but He will never.

And I'm all out of words now to describe my contentment.

Instead...

I follow an incredible blog (www.kellehampton.com) and amidst her incredible stories and beautiful photography, I found this quote. I do believe it is perfect for a day like today.

I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.
-Dawna Markova

One of my favorites...

2010-06-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

I was recently reminded of my love for the beauty within Romans 8. Within it lies some almost incomprehensible Truth. About a love that I will spend the rest of my life trying to understand. A love that I will have no trouble spending the rest of my life trying to figure out because of its incomparable greatness. On my best day, I have bathed in the splendor of His love for us and poured it out without effort. On my worst day, I have clung, white-knuckled, to it-- believing that it truly is all I have. And yet, through it all, my little mortal heart has always known that there is nothing that I can do to rid myself of it. Nothing I can do to deserve it or lose it. God's love is bigger than my sin and my decisions. Therefore, it will always be this beautiful, big, overwhelming, sure thing worth sharing... Worth screaming from the rooftops. Whether I am aware of it or not.

Today, I'm aware.

Romans 8:18-39:

"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Safe to say...

2010-06-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

So, here lately, I have been trying to make the most of my days off. You know, since I won't have any of those mid-week come June 28th. I've been getting up around 8:30, sipping coffee, spending some time in the Word and with the Lord. Then once I'm awake and geared up for the day, here's what I might do/be doing: go run, go to the pool, run some errands, return phone calls, meet with people I haven't seen in a while, drive, take pictures, cook, etc. It's been incredible, actually. To have that freedom. And I am truly grateful for this life that the Lord has allowed me to live for the past three years. But as I have recently stated, this chapter will be closing soon. And I think it's safe to say that I'm a little scared. I feel confident that maybe ten of my friends actually read this blog, so I'll share my fears here with little worry that I am pouring my heart out to the world.

I fear that I won't know the answers, that I'll be tired more often than not, that I will let my time in clinic pass me by without truly sharing the Lord and His Word with my patients, that I will miss something and a family's life will never be the same, that I will be viewed as a young professional who's not sure what she's doing, that I will struggle to be confident in my new role, that I will come home most days and wish that I was still working 3 days a week in Labor and Delivery, that it might be 10 more years before I know beyond a shadow of a doubt who I am and what I'm doing here.

But, bigger than those fears is my God who has led me to this place. And that's really all I need to know. There are not a lot of words that pass through these lips that will be remembered forever or have stood the test of time, but those, my friend, will.

It's safe to say that I am merely a woman, that I will never have everything figured out, and that I will always struggle to find and exercise the strength and faith it takes to be the woman He is creating me to be. But it is also safe to say that my God is bigger than that. Than me. Than this life we call home for a moment. He is all we need. Incomparably and incomprehensibly so. That's pretty safe to say, my friend.

"We have not stopped praying for you since the first day we heard about you. In fact, we always pray that God will show you everything he wants you to do and that you may have all the wisdom and understanding that his Spirit gives. Then you will live a life that honors the Lord, and you will always please him by doing good deeds. You will come to know God even better.His glorious power will make you patient and strong enough to endure anything, and you will be truly happy. I pray that you will be grateful to God for letting you have part in what he has promised his people in the kingdom of light.
God rescued us from the dark power of Satan and brought us into the kingdom of his dear Son, who forgives our sins and sets us free.
Christ is exactly like God, who cannot be seen. He is the first-born Son, superior to all creation. Everything was created by him, everything in heaven and on earth, everything seen and unseen, including all forces and powers, and all rulers and authorities.
All things were created by God's Son, and everything was made for him. God's Son was before all else, and by him everything is held together. He is the head of his body, which is the church. He is the very beginning, the first to be raised from death, so that he would be above all others. God himself was pleased to live fully in his Son. And God was pleased for him to make peace by sacrificing his blood on the cross, so that all beings in heaven and on earth would be brought back to God."

Colossians 1: 9-20

A New Day.

2010-05-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

So, this weekend, my sis graduated college. What an incredible accomplishment! So the past few days have been filled with praise and time with family. Which is always welcome around here...In celebrating, I was filled with memories of that time in my life. When letting go seemed impossible and moving forward seem daunting. Tuscaloosa was the place where I had grown up the most and God had recreated a servant's heart within me. And until this day, I remember that time as being one of the sweetest seasons of my life. Praise God for seasons. For bringing us in and out of sorrow and reintroducing us to joy. But most importantly, for being the same God through it all. There is such sweet peace in knowing that He is exactly who He says He is. He will do what He says He will do. And He is faithful even when we are not. Hallelujah for time passed and for what lies ahead.

Below are some of my favorite still shots from the weekend.

All the ladies with Ambie and her oh-so-lovely nursing uniform...

This was when we realized that this pinning was nothing like we'd practiced...

Me and the graduate :)

Ambie and I with our sweet mom...

Ambie, Holly, and I...

My Memaw and I :) Can you see the resemblance?

She did it!

"I'm gonna sing this song
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you're like me
You need hope, coffee, and melody
So sit back down
Let the world keep spinning ‘round
For yesterday's gone and today is waiting on you to show your face..."

Robbie Seay Band

Cal, I Blogged. Are You Proud?

2010-05-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I haven't written ANYTHING since thanksgiving. Let's just say that I've been enjoying those things I was/am thankful for and completely forgot to fill the whole world in on what's going on in my life. So for all 5 followers of mine: here's an update.

Have I mentioned that I love what I do? Love my job. Love taking care of women. Hearing their stories. In greater news: I passed my boards and am now a board-certified Women's Health Care Nurse Practitioner (Lots of words, I know. You should write the credentials after your name on every letter you write!) So yay! Another chapter of my life closed. Another to be opened.

Oh and, no, I'm still not married. For some reason, everyone above the age of fifty can't seem to grasp it and thinks that I'm "such a sweet girl." Apparently that makes me marriage-material. Ha, who knows. Anyway, I'm still being patient on the dating front. BTW spread the word, my middle-aged friends, that I won't date someone via text message or ask them out first. Seems like guys nowadays haven't gotten that memo.

AND Amber and I moved from our sweet, wonderful house into an apartment. I know you might think that it was a crazy move, but it cut all ties from the parents and is allowing us to save money. That way, we can be better stewards and dream bigger. I'll post pics sometime soon of the fabulousness that is our humble abode.

Finally, Amber graduates tomorrow. I mean, really?? Seems like yesterday she was sucking her thumb and staring wide-eyed into space as a oh-so-adorable toddler. And tomorrow, she'll be a big girl. I'm very proud to call her my sister, and most importantly, my friend.

So: Here's to new beginnings! New journeys. New chapters. I raise my proverbial glass to what's to come. And I promise to keep you more informed on the ups and downs.

Happy Thursday, friends...

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." Psalm 37: 3-6

Giving Thanks...

2009-11-26T08:48:00.000-08:00

Today is Thanksgiving and I have sooo much to be thankful for...So, while I'm at work, I thought I would write some of them down. In my life, I have found it so incredibly heart-healthy to chronicle God's faithfulness. To have something tangible to look back on when times get hard, or the road narrows. In those times, when my heart knows He is good, my mind finds it easier to believe when there's evidence of His hand. This is just such evidence. Happy Thanksgiving, all. You are loved.

I am thankful:
*That I know the Creator of my heart.
*For a family that I would choose to love even if I wasn't related to them.
*For friends that truly love me just the way I am.
*To be living out my passion.
*For the gift of song...for the love of music and art.
*That God has protected my heart more times than I can count.
*For Southern food and tradition.
*For the hard times, because they have made me grateful for the good ones.
*That I am healthy.
*For the hope of things to come: marriage, a family, eternity with my King.
*For the ability to communicate...with my voice...with my life...the love of Jesus Christ.
*For people to look up to and for people who look up to me. Both offer accountability and joy.
*For coffee.
*That my home is a safe place...not just for me, but for other people.
*For my sister. She is my best friend and urges courage out of me that I could not do alone.
*For the Word. Living and active...Guiding my heart and directing my path.
*For the courage to create things!
*For being able to see real love lived out among the married couples I know.
*That one day I will get to live that out as well.
*For transparent conversations spent lying on the living room floor.
*That I am right where I am doing life with the people I love.
*For seasons' change.
*For good books.
*For new babies and for the families that will raise them in a God-loving/God-fearing home.
*For paint. And for what I can do with it.
*For people who aren't afraid to love hard.
*That real Love crosses language barriers.
*For freedom and for those willing to fight for it.
*For a Way to love the way I was meant to.

1 Chronicles 29:11-13:
"Therefore David blessed the LORD in the presence of all the assembly. And David said: "Blessed are you, O LORD, the God of Israel our father, forever and ever. 11 Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O LORD, and you are exalted as head above all. 12 Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all. 13 And now we thank you, our God, and praise your glorious name."

Jesus te ama.

2009-11-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

I was reunited tonight with some truly amazing women. Women I served with on the mission field of Iquitos, Peru this summer...We shared our latest struggles and joys...our past adventures together...and what the future holds for each of us. It didn't take very long for us to start spilling our hearts. And hearing the excitement in their voices as they spoke of God and His plans, my heart was revitalized. Not that I don't have truly incredible friends that love the Lord with all their heart, because I do (and am deeply grateful)...But because with these girls, I share a very unique bond. We share Peru. And what God did in each of our hearts there is only magnified as we commune.

Julie, my roommate on the trip and dear friend, made a fantastic video documenting our journey. And I sat on my couch tonight with tears in my eyes as I watched. For several reasons... 1. I was overwhelmed at simply seeing some of those precious faces again. 2. My heart was overjoyed. Because I was witnessing all over again what it was like to care about nothing but the gospel of Jesus Christ. Being out of your comfort zone with nothing but the faith that God will speak and move through you will do that to a person. 3. Lastly, I was so moved because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the mission of Christ's gospel will ALWAYS be present in my life. And unless I am physically unable to make the trip every year, I will hit the ground running the race in Peru summer after summer. Because the people there need Christ. And the ones that already know and love Him refresh my spirit in ways that I am sure they are unaware of.

So I praise God tonight. For opening my eyes to the beauty of His gospel. For saving my sick and dying soul. And for giving me the strength, and passion, and ability to go and tell that story. Boldly and sincerely.

Thank you Peru for teaching my heart what love looks like...In a way that I will be forever changed by experiencing. See you again in July. In the meantime, know that Jesus te ama.

Luke 10:2: "...And He said to them, The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."

Inspiring.

2009-10-31T11:53:00.000-07:00

I am currently reading a book called, "You Matter More than You Think" by Dr. Leslie Parrott. And I have found it to be both encouraging and difficult to read. I think that one of the hardest things for a woman to do is realize her own worth. And Leslie explores why...Therein, one might see my dilemma. There's this battle between the desire to make a difference in the world around you and actually allowing yourself to do so.

Does it sound crazy that I believe that women stand in their own way? For instance...the girl in her college ministry, who was a true leader in her youth group before moving some-odd hours away to place she's unfamiliar with, LONGS to be that leader in a group that naturally sees her as the new face. Her desire to make a difference is sometimes so great that her thoughts are dominated by ways to make herself stand-out, to fit into a particular "leader" mold, or to force gifts and talents into her life in order to impact someone. When all along, the simple beauty of who she is is more than enough to lift the spirits of a roommate who is missing home. Or her genuine vulnerability is exactly what her classmate needs to bond with...

You see, we stand in our own way when we do not allow God to use us exactly where we are, exactly the way we are. Comparison can kill a heart and drown a spirit. And its sometimes a woman's foulest enemy.

So the next time you wonder if you are making a difference, chances are that you are impacting far more lives than you even realize. Because you're Super Mom or an Independent Woman? Maybe. But probably because you are simply where you're supposed to be, loving the people you are meant to love. Take joy in that. Use that truth to empower your soul to create an environment that causes the people around you to feel inspired.

So whether you are making sandwiches for your kiddos, or coaching a mom through labor, or fighting cancer, or learning everything you can about your major, or completing one more casefile, or planning your wedding, or teaching children not to kick other children, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee...know that you have all the makings to inspire. My prayer is that you start to believe that. Our world would quickly become a better place if you did.

Vegas, and Finals, and Showers, Oh My!

2009-10-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

So this has been a slightly crazy week!

I had an incredible opportunity to go to Las Vegas for a conference through work (All paid for! Which was great!). Im pretty sure we went inside every hotel and ate at most of the restaurants. Ok, maybe Im kinda kidding about the restaurants, but we did consume a large amount of breakfast and seafood! I heart buffets! Ashley, Beth, Lauren and I laughed alot and walked even more...But bottom line, I think everyone should visit Vegas at least once :) If for no other reasons than to see the Bellagio fountain show, The Lion King live (and if you dress up and show up right on time, the ushers will get you some amazing seats!), and eat at Tao at the Venetian! Put it on your to-do list!

So we landed in Birmingham at 7:30 on Thursday night. I immediately dropped off my bags and headed to study with some girls from class because we had our comprehensive final exam Friday morning at 9:00 am! Which I passed! I really can't believe that in a little over a month, I will graduate with my Masters! Gosh, it seems like yesterday that I applied! And yet, it seems like this season of life has lasted forever! So, I am finished with the craziness of this semester. I officially have free time again! I could cry just thinking about the chance to sit at a coffee shop and read a book. For leisure! Or go to church on Sunday morning! Or go to the Botanical Gardens! Or take pictures! Or paint! Or watch a television show at its actual running time! I can't wait to enjoy the little things in life again :)

And last but not least, my sweet friend Robin's baby shower is getting closer and closer!! She is having a baby girl, Reese, in December and I can't wait! Hopefully, I will be an incredibly cool aunt and that the shower will be everything Robin hoped for! Praying for Reese, Rob, and Jared as they get closer to the due date :) Love you guys!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! ROLL TIDE!

Graduation Countdown!

2009-10-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

P.S. Only 61 days until Graduation!!

Hallelujah and pass the gravy!

God's Providence

2009-10-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Today I was just overwhelmed by the favor of God. Not because I have been given tremendous amounts of favor today specifically, but just looking back at my life and what God has created it to be, its overwhelming. To think that the God of the universe loves me is enough. But to know for certain that He is creating a life especially for me is simply too much. He has prepared my heart to love people...prepared my hands for a job that I love...prepared my mind to understand the words that He speaks to me through circumstances. And I love Him more every single day because of who He is...and who He is creating me to be.

I truly believe that God pieces together each moment to create a lifetime full of stories of His grace. I can see that in my life. Not because I'm anything special, but simply because He is so big...and so intimate at the very same time.

He has provided answers when I deserved none. He has offered comfort when I should have been left to fend for myself. And He has been faithful when I struggle to be. I owe my life to this God...who is more than just that. He is my Father. My friend. He is my strength and my portion and therefore, the reason for my existence. I pray to honor Him in my relationships...to love Him when people don't understand...and to always be grateful.

Psalm 73:23-28
Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.
Those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you. But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.

Flat on your face.

2009-09-16T19:08:00.001-07:00

Ok I realize that this won't be nearly as funny as it was to witness it first hand, but I must share a story of my family. I arrived at the beach this morning and met my aunts, Jean and Cherie. We chatted in the condo as it rained outside...went to a movie as it continued to downpour...and then ate a yummy dinner at Carraba's, while it continued to rain. Did I mention that it was raining at the beach? And maybe this contributed to the delirium that ensued as the afternoon slipped away. Or maybe its because we haven't all hung out in a couple of months. Whatever it was, it made for a laugh-your-tail-off funny day.

So on to my story. Like a cherry on a Sundae, this topped the day off.

We arrived back at the condo tonight as my parents pulled in...We embraced, laughed a little more and headed across the parking deck to the elevators. I say we, but I mean, we followed behind Jean who was trucking it across the deck, mumbling something about parking on the wrong side and now we have to walk a long way. In her haste, she failed to recognize the bright yellow speed bump on the cement below her feet. Before we knew it, she was flying through the air like a 747. It took what seemed like 10 minutes to actually hit the ground, but when she did, she landed smack on top of our to-go boxes from dinner. PLOP! Taters everywhere. MEANWHILE, in HER attempt to catch her sister, Cherie began to run toward her fallen comrade paying no mind to the SAME SPEED BUMP THAT TOOK HER SISTER OUT! She, too, went out in a blaze of glory on the pavement. Through tearful eyes and shallow breaths, we picked them both up off the ground (fortunately with no injuries other than skinned knees and bruised egos)...Needless to say, we will not be having left-over Chicken Marsala and Filet Bryan for lunch tomorrow.

I love my life.

Waiting.

2009-09-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

I think its safe to say that we are almost always waiting. On something...on someone...Whether it be waiting to check-out at Publix...for an eternal Kingdom...or simply for the weekend. (Which in my case right now only means that I will actually get paid for the work I do :).

Like I said, we're waiting. I believe that character is not built upon one's ability to wait. We can all do it. I believe that one's true self is gloriously revealed in the manner in which they wait. Are you tapping your foot? Watching your clock? Or do you FORGET that you are waiting because you are too busy living life to the fullest in the present? My deepest desire is to be described as the latter. To be hopeful of things to come, while being content in the here-and-now.

Here's to building patience. And to the incredible journey that occurs while we wait...

While I'm Waiting- John Waller:
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, LordAnd I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waitingI will serve You
While I'm waitingI will worship
While I'm waitingI will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Kaylie: A Social Hazard.

2009-05-07T14:06:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up this morning with a sore throat, upper respiratory congestion, a cough, and fatigue. And I immediately thought, "Hello, Yearly Sinus Infection! What took you so long!?" But when I shared these symptoms with my sister (who is in her third year of nursing school), she flipped and persistently, but calmly urged me to get a swine flu swab! Now, we were at lunch at this point, so if I had been inoculated with this potentially deadly strain of the influenza virus, I was putting the entire restaurant at risk and therefore a social hazard.

Amber leaned back every time I coughed and looked around the restaurant to make sure no one heard it/saw it. Then, I began to get paranoid that maybe I DID have the swine flu! I would have to be quarantined for 7 days! And people would throw tomatoes at my house and put a sign up that said "Stay away! She's contagious!"...and no one would let me keep their children ever again! Ok clearly, I mildly overreacted.

To make a long story short (though the clinic visit was not!), I have good news and I have bad news.

Good news: No swine flu here!

Bad news: I am convinced that I sustained a brain injury from the nasal swab.

A Foundation for Freedom...

2009-05-03T21:21:00.000-07:00

Today, my heart is burdened for my country. My heart is broken by the decline of virtue in the land of the free and home of the brave. In the beginnings of this great country, the men who established it had a faithful, abundant love for God...their Creator...and sought to build a republic that celebrated that. Freedom being only a by-product of religion and morality as a foundation for this country. Love of God and an increasing knowledge of Him being central.

What happened? When did we run from these truths? Many have speculated...but it doesn't matter how it has happened...all we can do now is draw near to the heart of the God who loved those men that built America from the ground up. For He is the same God who builds and tears down all empires as His will permits...And I believe that He hears us when we call to Him...He rejoices in repentance...delights in our faith in Him. I pray that the remnant of believers in this country hold out the light of truth and proclaim the hope of Jesus Christ. Because He is all we need. And the only One able to save.

God bless America.

"If my people, who are called by name will humble themselves and pray, and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear them from heaven and forgive their sins. And I will heal their land."

2 Chronicles 7:14

But Take Heart.

2009-04-25T20:33:00.001-07:00

There have been many times in my life when God has quieted me with His love. There have been countless times that God has calmed my heart with a mere word or whisper. And I know that there are thousands of days ahead when only His voice will give me the peace I long for.

God has not let me down this week. Faithfully. Again. This week has been one of the busiest, most exhausting (both physically and spiritually) weeks. And yet, I feel refreshed today knowing that He has overcome all of my frets. All of my plans. All of me.

Tonight as Chris Tomlin led us in worship, he sang these words: "Jesus has overcome. And the grave is overwhelmed. Victory is won. He is risen from the dead." And I as I sang, the singing turned into reflection...which turned into worship. And there I was. Fully aware of His presence in my life and His sovereignty over all. Christ has defeated all that separates me from the greatest Love I will ever know. And He is alive in me today. I am friends with the God of the Universe and my life has been placed in His Hands to use as He wills to glorify Him. In light of that truth, my troubles...my worries seem but as vapors.

"I tell you these things so that you might have peace: In this World, you will have trouble. But take heart, for I have overcome the World."

--Christ in John 16:33

The Stillness...

2009-04-17T06:15:00.001-07:00

In the stillness of morning, I am filled. My heart is urged by the Holy Spirit to celebrate life today. For God is revealing Himself to me in all of my blessings...in my struggles...in my grey days. And that is cause for rejoicing. Because the God of the Universe knows my name and knows my heart. And desires for me to know the same of Him. He is steady running after me so this morning, I long to steady chase His heart. In all things. Forever.

Isaiah 43 says:

1 But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob,
   he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
   I have called you by name, you are mine.
²When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
   and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
   and the flame shall not consume you.
³For I am the LORD your God,
   the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
   Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
⁴Because you are precious in my eyes,
   and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
   peoples in exchange for your life.
⁵Fear not, for I am with you;
   I will bring your offspring from the east,
   and from the west I will gather you.
⁶I will say to the north, Give up,
   and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
   and my daughters from the end of the earth,
⁷everyone who is called by my name,
   whom I created for my glory,
   whom I formed and made."

Oh how I am thankful that I am His.

Paint and Prayer for Peru!

2009-04-15T13:11:00.001-07:00

The weekend before Easter, I held an art show at my home. I painted a variety of pieces and invited some of my friends to come, advertising that all the proceeds would help send me to Peru this summer to share the gospel and help run a medical clinic on the Amazon. And the turn-out was just overwhelming! God sure does provide when He calls you. And this event was no different. I sold almost exactly as much as I needed to with funds to spare for vaccinations! Hallelujah, He is good!

So thank you to everyone who came, bought, and prayed. (I am already up to my elbows in canvases, but no worries! I love it!) You all are amazing people. Not only because you love me, but because you believe in spreading the good news of Jesus Christ to those who may never hear it otherwise. I promise to take a little piece of you with me as I go...And I will always be thankful for you, as you played a precious role in carrying out His Providence and showing love when you might not have even known its full impact. :) Which just happens to be something else He calls us to...

Jesus proclaims in the gospel of John in chapter 15: "I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other." I have seen God moving in my life most recently through the people around me. Through your love of Him and of me...For that, I am grateful.

Be praying for the Peruvians we will meet and treat and love in Iquitos, June 27th- July 6th! I am praying that their hearts be softened to His word and their minds be open to accept the Truth. I also pray for their health and prosperity after we leave them. That they will live long, abundant lives filled with the Spirit for their children to see...and their children to see...and their children to see. I can't wait to see what the Lord is doing there and am thrilled to be a part of it!

P.s. If you are interested in buying a piece of art, go to http://www.abound.weebly.com/ and contact me! :)

Do you know all the States?

2009-04-15T09:41:00.000-07:00

Reasons why you should watch this video:

1. To encourage your faith in American education...or at least the American family.

2. Because Isabella is just too cute.

3. Baby laughs are the best.

4. And because Alabama is her favorite state. Roll tide :)

Praying for My Sweet Friends!

2009-04-14T20:06:00.001-07:00

This post is purely dedicated to the Haynes family. I love them dearly and was able to see them off today as they head out to start their new life. They will be serving in a secure area so I can't disclose the name of where they will be, but lift them up with me as they further the kingdom by being His Hands and Feet in another country. :)

Easter with the Griswolds!

2009-04-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am a Southern girl by nature, merit, and genetic disposition. So I have seen my share of funny families. I have heard the drawls and laughed hysterically at what they will do just to crack a joke or show somebody up. But my family takes the cake on being more Southern than any other family I have ever met. So, today, I welcome you to our family. Meet the Griswolds...Where Easter is not only a day to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior and our reconciliation with God Almighty...but a day of Keenum family food, fun, and folly. Please watch this clip as we partake in our Annual Egg Toss.

http://www.qik.com/video/1453512

P.S. That's my mother in the blue linen outfit. Just watch. ***Disclaimer: You might pee your pants when the clock gets to 1:50 on the video clip***

All that noise.

2009-04-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember (and from the day I uttered my first word, according to my mother) I have been a storyteller. Sometimes my words are profound...sometimes, not so much. And though the majority of what I say is not necessarily changing lives, I do feel as though I have some great stories. About life...about God...about love and everything in between. So I created this blog in order to share those stories. Those stories that have made me cry....the ones that have made me laugh...Stories about people who invested in me, and I in them...And stories of people who taught me something and kept moving through life.

I guess my desire is that somewhere in my story-telling, somewhere in the midst of all that noise, God will be glorified. And that people hear the good news that they were created to tell a story. That we were all created to be part of such a big story. One that has been told since the beginning of time. A story of joy, adventure, intimacy, passion, pain, and redemption. Your story is incredible. And I would love to hear it. Until I do, can I share mine?

Thank you for listening to the story God is writing for me.