Ask and You Shall Receive.

I do not consider today's events to be circumstance. Nor do I believe that the thoughts of my heart expressed in yesterday's post were brought to mind by happenstance. For today, I have heard the voice of the Lord. Loud and clear.

I was winding down on my couch tonight after a really crazy work day, when my mind raced to the thought: "I just really hope that everything goes well at work tomorrow. I really want tomorrow to be a good day." And instantly, worry set in. Did I do everything I needed to do today to take good care of my patients? Did my coworkers believe that I made the right decisions today? Will I ever make a really big mistake at work? All of those questions that invade your faith. Attack your peaceful thoughts. Yeah, those are the ones that I allowed to creep in tonight. But almost as quickly as they came, Scripture came to mind. That truth that I have hidden in my heart: Therefore do not be anxious...do not worry about tomorrow...pray about everything...when my anxious thoughts are many, Your consolation brings me joy.

I was reminded in those moments that worry should not be my concern. I should even rejoice in my struggles. I cannot remember a time when I have experienced so much spiritual warfare. From the moment that I started this incredible job, my heart has been torn and stretched and challenged and broken and encouraged more than any other time I can quickly call to mind. I have prayed more fervently, and trusted His sovereignty with greater abandon (because let's be honest, in the OB world, things can change in a heartbeat). And I consider it great joy. Because I know that if God was not being glorified in that clinic, that I would have no trouble at all. I know that if something bigger than me was not being carried out, that I would breeze through each day without a care. But since I do deeply care for these women and my coworkers, I struggle. And that's ok. Because He is bigger. And more able than I to take care of my patients and those around me. So here's to resolving to trust rather than worry. And to throw harder punches at an Enemy that wishes to see me give up on a profession that is showing people who Christ is. Bring it on.

Psalm 94:19-- "When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

Philippians 4:6-7-- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The Voice of the Lord.

Often in my conversations, and in my own heart, this question comes: "But how do I know that this voice that I hear is the Lord's?" It comes after a friend shares her dream and a potential opportunity to realize it. It comes when two choices lie on the table and you feel pulled toward one. It comes when you feel an uneasiness about a particular situation or relationship. As a believer...or maybe just in my own life...I hear/speak these words often.

Scripture speaks to this.

Christ says in John 10 that: "...The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice..."

The psalmist writes in Psalm 29 that: "...The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars..."

In 1 Kings 19, we read that: "...The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave."

Now, I know what you're thinking: All of these passages say something different about recognizing the voice of the Lord. And if that's what you're thinking, then you'd be right. The truth is, I can't tell you how to determine the Lord's voice in your life. Because it's your life. Your relationship. And your familiarity with God determines your ability to hear Him...to recognize and follow His voice. In one moment, His voice might be obvious and clear. In another, it may be still...quiet. Sometimes, it may be easy to hear... Other times, it may take deep faith to believe that He is speaking in a certain way. But however He chooses to speak to you, know this: He is sovereign. And no matter what His voice sounds like...or how His hand moves in a life, you can be sure that it is perfectly done. I am grateful for that.

Jeremiah 29:11-13: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart..."

John 10:7-10: "...Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Silence = Underrated.

I apologize for my blog-silence since Christmas Eve! I assure you that the reason for it is not because I have lacked things to write about. Quite the opposite! So many wonderful things have happened since December. And its hard to recap all of it, so I will hit the high points...

* My best friend became engaged to the love of her life (they will be married August 20, 2011)
* I rang in the new year with sweet friends and shared my first meal of 2011 with the dearest of these (Supper Club will celebrate 3 years this summer)
* I learned to play Nerts (And have stayed up way past midnight multiple nights playing it-- for those of you that know me, you know that this behavior is not commonplace. Thus, 2011 has me turning over a new leaf...maybe.)

*My sweet friend, Amanda, got to say goodbye to the NICU and take her little man, Laine home for the first time.
* I have been preparing for two very important speaking engagements: Progress 2011 (A UAB OB/GYN conference that will take place at the end of February), and Kidz Blitz (took place this weekend)

*We kicked off our very last Core Group Semester! (I've had the sweet opportunity to watch these girls grow since they were in the 9th grade, and this year they will graduate High School to begin their college lives.)
* I had the incredible opportunity to travel across the country to San Francisco to reunite with some dear friends there. In their faithfulness, these friends moved their lives there in response to God's call to plant a church in the heart of the city. Epic Church had their fourth preview service while I was there and will begin weekly services starting February 13 ( find out more by visiting www.epicsf.com) I was both blessed and equally burdened by my time there. Blessed by their hearts, our God and His plans, and by the city itself. Burdened by the tremendous need for the gospel in San Fran, and by the spiritual darkness present in the hearts of its people. But the beauty most definitely outweighed the pain. Knowing that God is up to something big there and that my friends are running the race with such grace...that is a beautiful thing. Continue to pray for all that call Epic home. For all that will call Epic home. And for all that are touched by the God of that city and all others under the sun.


Speaking of silence. I spent the last hour of my drive home today in complete silence. And let me tell you, it was simply beautiful. While God has given me so many opportunities to speak, and to listen, I was reminded that some of my sweetest times with Him are spent in silence. So again, I apologize for the lag in blog updates, but remember that silence is golden from time to time.



Below are some pics from my January adventures...

My sweet hostess, Lindsey Lee, took me to work with her :)

I thoroughly enjoyed Bring-Your-Friend-To-Work Day at the Epic Office in San Fran!

Shauna and the boys introduced me to the yummiest breakfast restaurant!

Oh yeah, she's making muffins from a handwritten recipe book :)

Epic Preview Service!

View from the top of the W Hotel where Epic Church meets...

Golden Gate Bridge...

Saturday morning, Kristin, Shauna and I headed to the Farmer's Market for some shopping fun!

Some San Franciscans enjoying their spoils...

Blue Bottle Coffee: Josh Hamilton's favorite.

Bay Bridge!

These are truly a San Francisco treat :)

A fun store in Noe Valley...

The Painted Ladies!

This is how we descend big hills in San Fran. Like a roller coaster :)

Lombard Street...

Classic.

While I was gone, baby Laine went home with his mommy and daddy Cutcher!