Ask and You Shall Receive.

I do not consider today's events to be circumstance. Nor do I believe that the thoughts of my heart expressed in yesterday's post were brought to mind by happenstance. For today, I have heard the voice of the Lord. Loud and clear.

I was winding down on my couch tonight after a really crazy work day, when my mind raced to the thought: "I just really hope that everything goes well at work tomorrow. I really want tomorrow to be a good day." And instantly, worry set in. Did I do everything I needed to do today to take good care of my patients? Did my coworkers believe that I made the right decisions today? Will I ever make a really big mistake at work? All of those questions that invade your faith. Attack your peaceful thoughts. Yeah, those are the ones that I allowed to creep in tonight. But almost as quickly as they came, Scripture came to mind. That truth that I have hidden in my heart: Therefore do not be anxious...do not worry about tomorrow...pray about everything...when my anxious thoughts are many, Your consolation brings me joy.

I was reminded in those moments that worry should not be my concern. I should even rejoice in my struggles. I cannot remember a time when I have experienced so much spiritual warfare. From the moment that I started this incredible job, my heart has been torn and stretched and challenged and broken and encouraged more than any other time I can quickly call to mind. I have prayed more fervently, and trusted His sovereignty with greater abandon (because let's be honest, in the OB world, things can change in a heartbeat). And I consider it great joy. Because I know that if God was not being glorified in that clinic, that I would have no trouble at all. I know that if something bigger than me was not being carried out, that I would breeze through each day without a care. But since I do deeply care for these women and my coworkers, I struggle. And that's ok. Because He is bigger. And more able than I to take care of my patients and those around me. So here's to resolving to trust rather than worry. And to throw harder punches at an Enemy that wishes to see me give up on a profession that is showing people who Christ is. Bring it on.

Psalm 94:19-- "When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

Philippians 4:6-7-- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."