Taking a breath or two...

I think it’s terminal, this terminal I’m waiting in

Could use a change of scene, it seems I’ve been repeating it
Another day, another plane, another same thing
Yesterday became tomorrow that’s the strange thing
Another string, another strum, another rhyme, another hum
I want to breathe in
I want to breathe in and out again

I’m tired of putting one foot in front of the other
I’m weary of where it leads me to
I’m tired of moving on from my Father
Make me rest my head, take a breath or two

Simply stated simple minded love for You
Has simply been completely complicated
And I’m finding this daily drudgery is finally catching up to me
It’s time for this abandon to make much of You and less of me
I want to breathe in
I want to breathe in and out again

O for a slower pace
Moving at the speed of sound sounds like a race to me
O to be at ease
Moving at the speed of sound gets hard on the knees

--Jimmy Needham

The LORD protects the simplehearted;

when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,

for the LORD has been good to you.

For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling...

Psalm 116:6-8

A Fine Line.

The older I get, the more I realize that life as a follower of Christ is often times about living life on a fine line. My hope is secure and my heart: saved by grace through Jesus Christ. But living out my faith has caused me many times to call upon the Lord to aid in navigating a fine line.

I currently believe that there is a fine line between...

Busyness and Apathy.

Loving people furiously and letting their thoughts guide yours.

Holding loosely and not paying attention.

Having an opinion and attacking someone else's.

Discipline and legalism.

Being a dreamer and being aimless.

Caring and worrying.

Being vulnerable and not guarding your heart.

Being wise and not trusting God to move.

Being content and being comfortable.

I think that I will always struggle with the fine line. And maybe spend too much time analyzing it. But that's just because I'm mildly type-A. However, I also believe that God knows that about me. And He knows that as long as I struggle, I will lean on Him and His Word for guidance. I know that He is able, and bigger, and more sovereign than my struggle with this life. I also happen to know that through all of my battles, He has been faithful to squeeze beautiful things out of them. Faithful to refine by fire. That truth makes the fine line clearer. Makes life about Him and not about me. Just as it should be.

The Ebb and Flow.

Today, I am fully aware of the ebb and flow of life's abundance. Of the constant shift from valley to mountain-top...good times to bad...times of restlessness and those of peace. And in my own life, how there has been a delicately even distribution of both. Of course the bad times seem heartbreakingly more frequent and the good times seem too scant. But oh, how God has woven together the moments to make such a lovely story.

I can say that today has been one of those days where I have dreamt of a different place. Not because I am unhappy here, and not because I am not grateful. Just dreaming. I dream that maybe it would be more adventurous, more fulfilling to be in Italy, or Ireland, or Brazil, or maybe even just Boston, or Charlotte. And I find myself longing for something new, often. That somehow, I would feel closer to the Lord in those places. Making a fresh start. I feel like somehow if I was uprooted from where I am, I would have a greater desire or a more beautiful place to find my God. And while I feel that He has called me to places (and will continue to call me to places), I am also fully aware today that God is here, and does not change from place to place. The Almighty that I would serve in an exotic place is the God that I serve here in Alabama. The Provider that I would trust in a foreign place is the very same God that I rely on here in Birmingham. And sometimes, it takes just as much courage to trust that your adventure is where you are than to believe that it is elsewhere. If I don't love Him with a furious longing here, then what about being somewhere different will change that? Jesus Christ has called you and I to an abundant life. And all that we have is right now, dear friend. So even if He moves you tomorrow, take Him up on that promise wherever you find yourself today. And let the ebb and flow, of abundance and need, come and go as it may. For your God will never change. No matter where you are.

John 10:9-10:

"I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.

He will come in and go out, and find pasture.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

My Core.

As I sat tonight and listened to their stories from camp, my heart was reminded of the gift I've been given in being a part of their lives...

One of the most incredible opportunities I have in my life right now is the chance to disciple 5 beautiful Seniors. I signed up to lead a Core Group when I first moved to Birmingham and these lovely ladies have been stuck with me (and my co-leader, Liz) ever since. I say lovely not because of their physical beauty (which they all possess abundantly) but because of their spirits. All my life, I have been fortunate enough to have people pour into me. Through middle school, through high school, all the way through college, and even now. So I know the weight of the job at hand. I know that these girls are being molded as high school students. And I consider myself truly blessed to have been able to watch them grow into such breathtaking creations. I consider it an honor to pour the Word, my experiences, my advice, my encouragement, my heart and soul into their lives. Because I know that they will do (and are doing) big things for the Kingdom of God. They already have a brokenness for the lost, and an urgency to reach them. They already have a joy, a zeal for life. And they already have a spirit of worship. Can you imagine the things they will do as college students? As wives? As moms? As leaders in their ministries of choice? If they are already such solid girls? I, for one, can't wait to see them continue to grow. For they have grown me as much as I have grown them. They have encouraged me as much I as have encouraged them. And they have loved me as much as I have loved them.

Each Sunday, and each day I'm with them, I am filled with affirmation that God is good, and big, and active, and intimately a part of our lives and hearts. For that, I am eternally grateful.

I have a deep desire to see them prepared for the world ahead of them as they head off to college next year. So, if you will, pray with me for their hearts...for their dreams...for their journey toward who God wants them to be.

Glad to have already been a part of it,

K

Philemon 4-7:

"I always thank my God when I pray for you, Philemon, because I keep hearing about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all of God’s people. And I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ. Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God’s people."

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Yesterday, clinic flowed pretty smoothly. Today: early morning mass chaos. Near-riots in the streets. We saw 200 patients today and hadto turn many away due to the capacity of the church and the supplies left to treat with. Not to mention, the health of our team has been attacked since day one. At least one medical provider per team has been ill everyday. Leaving us short handed somewhere. Today, Dr. Bearden is back with us but just barely. At the very young age of 65, he is bouncing back pretty well from receiving 3 liters of fluid the day before. And everyone is feeling the fatigue today. Trying to push through a heavy patient load, trying to nurture them as we are continuing to nurture one another can sometimes prove to be difficult. Today is no different. It only makes it easier for us to believe that it was not by our own strength that we treated over 200 patients at Belen on our last clinic day. Hallelujah to the Great Physician. Our Healer.

After clinic resumed, we all walked down to the banks of the river nearby. Again, it was heartbreaking to see raw sewage pouring into the same river that thepeople of Belen swim in, bathe in, and draw water from. My heart fell. Because most of the ailments that we treated them for just hours prior could have been prevented if only they had clean water. Enter my friends from The Answer is Love. They accompanied us on our mission to Peru this year. Headed by a friend, Steve Jurs, these three men took newly developed water filtration systems to homes, churches, and communities. Teaching them about healthy living and most importantly, about the Living Water of Jesus Christ. What a ministry. I’m proud to support it. Email me if you have any questions, or want to get involved.

Tonight we honored our translators with a dinner. Like I mentioned before, our desire to spread the gospel would only be a pipe dream without their spirits. Without their willingness to communicate with our Peruvian brothers and sisters, they wouldn’t hear our hearts. And without their desire to lift the name of Jesus high in their communities, His Words would potentially go unspoken once we boarded our planes back to the states. I am grateful for their partnership. Grateful for their friendship. Thankful to be their sister.

Psalm 23


Finding rest,

K

Working through the madness early morning...

Happy to have Dr. Winford Bearden back!

Our team on the riverbank...

Loriella and her Callie bracelet at SportsReach :)

Adderli, one of our sweet translators, reading from the Word at the Translator Dinner.

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

Change of pace today. Today we traveled to a different part of the city for clinic. Urban. Downtown. Stilt houses by the river. Heavy commerce. Extreme poverty. We held clinic in an established church in the community of Belen. And after seeing around 150 patients today, Grace Ann (my fellow triage nurse) and I decided to climb one more set of stairs to the top of the church. Past the classrooms where the Word of God was taught when we were not there. Across the empty terrace. There, our view of the city was breathtaking. Not because we were encountering great beauty, but because it was like no other place I’d seen. Crowded roofs. Dirty streets. And breaking through the chaos was a clean, white cross. I just breathed it in. He was here. Very present. Alive. Again, I am humbled and grateful to have a place in the greatest love story ever told. Ever lived.

It was here that I also discussed the possibility of leading a trip next year with my mission friend, Anne. What an incredible opportunity and what a prayer. But I’ll pray it. And I can’t wait to see where God leads me in this new dream. This new adventure.

This afternoon at SportsReach, at Sol Naciente, we were only greeted by about 30 kids, learning that most of the children had returned to school for the rest of the week. What precious moments we had already spent with them though. They’d heard the good news, and now it is by faith that I believe that God will continue to pursue their hearts even after I’m gone. And I do believe that this is His plan. So we played a little volleyball with the remaining 30 and rested a while. God knew we needed that at this point. As He always does.

Matthew 13:10-17 (MSG)

Love,

K

The church where we held clinic at Belen.

Clinic at Belen

Meet Cristal. She loves Tootsie Pops.

Our view from the rooftop.

Down by the river...

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

Today was our last clinic day in Sol Naciente. Among the 175 patients we saw today, was this precious little girl in the below picture. You’ll see her in the “wheelchair” with her little brother. Smiling right through the diagnosis of Spina Bifida. She was diagnosed as an infant and clearly the surgeries have not given her the ability to walk, play or run like the other kids. But oh man, does she love bubbles. I watched her mother pick her up from her wheelchair this afternoon at SportsReach and hold her up as she popped them with her sweet little fingers. Each time, a squeal of delight escaping her lips. It was in that moment that I realized how little I am truly grateful. Just how precious the little things are. And was humbled to tears. Again, it wasn’t about me at all. That moment was about a child. Joyfully embracing life as she had been given it. There I prayed that one day she might fall madly in love with the God that gave it to her.

At sunset, I shared my testimony with almost 200 people at a street-side church service. People whom we pray will be the firm foundation upon which this church at Sol Naciente will stand. As we loaded the bus, we were sent away with a sweet, sincere prayer by the church: “Te amo mas de mi vida.”

Love,
K