Life. Captured.

As a Core Group, we adopted Jeremiah 17:7 as our verse this year. It says: "But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence." We are learning to make this true for our lives. I, along with them. They, alongside me. For that's how its been for years. And I can't wait to see who they grow to become in and through Christ, our Savior. Here are some sweet moments from this weekend, captured on film. Snapshots of lives longing to make the Lord their hope and their confidence.

Psalm 34:8-14: "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Fear the LORD, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it."

Ask and You Shall Receive.

I do not consider today's events to be circumstance. Nor do I believe that the thoughts of my heart expressed in yesterday's post were brought to mind by happenstance. For today, I have heard the voice of the Lord. Loud and clear.

I was winding down on my couch tonight after a really crazy work day, when my mind raced to the thought: "I just really hope that everything goes well at work tomorrow. I really want tomorrow to be a good day." And instantly, worry set in. Did I do everything I needed to do today to take good care of my patients? Did my coworkers believe that I made the right decisions today? Will I ever make a really big mistake at work? All of those questions that invade your faith. Attack your peaceful thoughts. Yeah, those are the ones that I allowed to creep in tonight. But almost as quickly as they came, Scripture came to mind. That truth that I have hidden in my heart: Therefore do not be anxious...do not worry about tomorrow...pray about everything...when my anxious thoughts are many, Your consolation brings me joy.

I was reminded in those moments that worry should not be my concern. I should even rejoice in my struggles. I cannot remember a time when I have experienced so much spiritual warfare. From the moment that I started this incredible job, my heart has been torn and stretched and challenged and broken and encouraged more than any other time I can quickly call to mind. I have prayed more fervently, and trusted His sovereignty with greater abandon (because let's be honest, in the OB world, things can change in a heartbeat). And I consider it great joy. Because I know that if God was not being glorified in that clinic, that I would have no trouble at all. I know that if something bigger than me was not being carried out, that I would breeze through each day without a care. But since I do deeply care for these women and my coworkers, I struggle. And that's ok. Because He is bigger. And more able than I to take care of my patients and those around me. So here's to resolving to trust rather than worry. And to throw harder punches at an Enemy that wishes to see me give up on a profession that is showing people who Christ is. Bring it on.

Psalm 94:19-- "When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

Philippians 4:6-7-- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The Voice of the Lord.

Often in my conversations, and in my own heart, this question comes: "But how do I know that this voice that I hear is the Lord's?" It comes after a friend shares her dream and a potential opportunity to realize it. It comes when two choices lie on the table and you feel pulled toward one. It comes when you feel an uneasiness about a particular situation or relationship. As a believer...or maybe just in my own life...I hear/speak these words often.

Scripture speaks to this.

Christ says in John 10 that: "...The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice..."

The psalmist writes in Psalm 29 that: "...The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars..."

In 1 Kings 19, we read that: "...The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave."

Now, I know what you're thinking: All of these passages say something different about recognizing the voice of the Lord. And if that's what you're thinking, then you'd be right. The truth is, I can't tell you how to determine the Lord's voice in your life. Because it's your life. Your relationship. And your familiarity with God determines your ability to hear Him...to recognize and follow His voice. In one moment, His voice might be obvious and clear. In another, it may be still...quiet. Sometimes, it may be easy to hear... Other times, it may take deep faith to believe that He is speaking in a certain way. But however He chooses to speak to you, know this: He is sovereign. And no matter what His voice sounds like...or how His hand moves in a life, you can be sure that it is perfectly done. I am grateful for that.

Jeremiah 29:11-13: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart..."

John 10:7-10: "...Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Silence = Underrated.

I apologize for my blog-silence since Christmas Eve! I assure you that the reason for it is not because I have lacked things to write about. Quite the opposite! So many wonderful things have happened since December. And its hard to recap all of it, so I will hit the high points...

* My best friend became engaged to the love of her life (they will be married August 20, 2011)
* I rang in the new year with sweet friends and shared my first meal of 2011 with the dearest of these (Supper Club will celebrate 3 years this summer)
* I learned to play Nerts (And have stayed up way past midnight multiple nights playing it-- for those of you that know me, you know that this behavior is not commonplace. Thus, 2011 has me turning over a new leaf...maybe.)

*My sweet friend, Amanda, got to say goodbye to the NICU and take her little man, Laine home for the first time.
* I have been preparing for two very important speaking engagements: Progress 2011 (A UAB OB/GYN conference that will take place at the end of February), and Kidz Blitz (took place this weekend)

*We kicked off our very last Core Group Semester! (I've had the sweet opportunity to watch these girls grow since they were in the 9th grade, and this year they will graduate High School to begin their college lives.)
* I had the incredible opportunity to travel across the country to San Francisco to reunite with some dear friends there. In their faithfulness, these friends moved their lives there in response to God's call to plant a church in the heart of the city. Epic Church had their fourth preview service while I was there and will begin weekly services starting February 13 ( find out more by visiting www.epicsf.com) I was both blessed and equally burdened by my time there. Blessed by their hearts, our God and His plans, and by the city itself. Burdened by the tremendous need for the gospel in San Fran, and by the spiritual darkness present in the hearts of its people. But the beauty most definitely outweighed the pain. Knowing that God is up to something big there and that my friends are running the race with such grace...that is a beautiful thing. Continue to pray for all that call Epic home. For all that will call Epic home. And for all that are touched by the God of that city and all others under the sun.


Speaking of silence. I spent the last hour of my drive home today in complete silence. And let me tell you, it was simply beautiful. While God has given me so many opportunities to speak, and to listen, I was reminded that some of my sweetest times with Him are spent in silence. So again, I apologize for the lag in blog updates, but remember that silence is golden from time to time.



Below are some pics from my January adventures...

My sweet hostess, Lindsey Lee, took me to work with her :)

I thoroughly enjoyed Bring-Your-Friend-To-Work Day at the Epic Office in San Fran!

Shauna and the boys introduced me to the yummiest breakfast restaurant!

Oh yeah, she's making muffins from a handwritten recipe book :)

Epic Preview Service!

View from the top of the W Hotel where Epic Church meets...

Golden Gate Bridge...

Saturday morning, Kristin, Shauna and I headed to the Farmer's Market for some shopping fun!

Some San Franciscans enjoying their spoils...

Blue Bottle Coffee: Josh Hamilton's favorite.

Bay Bridge!

These are truly a San Francisco treat :)

A fun store in Noe Valley...

The Painted Ladies!

This is how we descend big hills in San Fran. Like a roller coaster :)

Lombard Street...

Classic.

While I was gone, baby Laine went home with his mommy and daddy Cutcher!

...That We May Know Him.

Today marks the eve of the most beautiful moment in human history. Tomorrow, over 2000 years ago, Christ was born. Not just born to begin His life, but born to us. On Christmas, Christ was introduced to the human race for the first time. Even though He had always been alive with God, He now becomes alive to us. And alive He always will be. God ordained, in His infinite Sovereignty, the perfect time, the perfect place, and with the perfect people for Christ to come to earth to be our Savior. And I do not have time this morning to cover all of the wonderful, beautiful intricacies of that plan (perhaps someday I will), but perfect it was...is. Prophecies were fulfilled in His coming, hearts were mended, and lives saved from the chains that bound them. Simply and profoundly because a baby was born in a manger all those years ago. A baby. Christ. God who put on flesh and dwelt among us. So that we may know Him. The One and Only True and Living God. For that, I am overwhelmingly grateful today.




Isaiah 9:6-7 "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this."

Luke 2:1-20 "In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told."

You Must Learn To Know Me By That Name...

Fact: It is impossible for me to make it through a Narnia viewing without completely falling apart. And I don't mean one glistening tear streaming down my face. No ma'am, I'm talking red, puffy face, covered with snot and an inability to keep from doing the whole multiple-quick-inhalations-as-you-try-to-breathe-normally breaths. A total mess.

But I think it's because those stories speak to the deepest desires of my heart. As Lucy shamelessly throws herself onto the big, beautiful mane of Aslan in total despair as she processes the thought of never seeing Him again, I share her sentiment. As Edmund slays the sea serpent with a magical sword powered by Aslan's might, something in my soul leaps. And as Prince Capsian bravely returns to Narnia knowing that he has been chosen to lead a kingdom and to love those people, my heart swells. Because it speaks to the very nature of who we are. C.S. Lewis beautifully portrays in these fairy tales the very essence of the human heart...and the beauty of our King.

Tonight, my heart is overwhelmed that such a great God would be so intimate. That He would speak to our hearts as He does. And know us as His children. Always good. Always faithful. And something within me is so desperate tonight to physically feel Him. To lay my head on His chest...to feel Him really wipe away a tear...to get lost in an embrace...to hold His strong hand. Oh, I ache for it. But what a sweet ache. My faith only grows tonight...I believe with all of my heart and soul that one day, this race will be run and I will get my wish. One day, this fight will be over, and I will drop my sword. For there will be no need for it anymore. And I will run swiftly into the arms of my King. That's a moment I live for. And it is a moment that I would gladly die for... I serve a mighty King. A sweet Master. And I cannot wait until the day that I see Him face to face. Thank you C.S. Lewis, for making that longing a little more vivid tonight.




"Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” John 10:7-18











Mr. Tumnus: [of Aslan] He's not a tame lion.
Lucy Pevensie: No... but He is good.

Leaving Room...

I mentioned a few weeks/months ago that plans were in the works for me to go to Haiti for a community health mission in January. I was so excited about the opportunity and had really begun to prepare my heart for the trip. Last week, I got word that the MD that would be accompanying us was unfortunately no longer able to go...and that without an MD the trip would have to be canceled. And so it was. I was heartbroken at first. And a little confused about why this trip had been part of my life only to be dissolved. I can only believe that God has a sovereign reason why I wasn't supposed to be there.

After a few days of letting the news soak in, I realized that I still had that week off of work. My brain and heart started to dream...And then a new plan arose. At the end of this week, I will purchase my tickets to head to the west coast to visit my sweet friends of Epic Church in San Francisco. I could not be more excited, and am anxious to see what the Lord has planned for my time with them.

Learning to leave room in my plans for God to move...

Grateful that I have a King that makes perfect plans.





"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)